Isabella Swan's Last Wish
by twistedblueeyes
Summary: Taking a short break to fix up the grammer issues. Next chapter will be up mid May/
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Chapter 1—July 13****th**** 2007**

**Bella**

I woke up, taking a second to realize that the pounding noise was in my head not in my room. The throbbing was so bad that it had woken me up. I sighed and lifted the covers over my head. I should be used to the headaches by now. I had been having them almost daily for the last 3 months. It was just another thing to add onto the ever growing list of my issues. After a few minutes I threw the purple comforter off my bed and slowly sat up, careful not to move my head too much. Movement always made the headache worse. I looked around my small room, searching for any sign that he had come back to me. I knew the search was fruitless though. He would never come back to Forks. Still, I would walk around the edges of the space and even peer outside my window to see if there were any footprints. Only once had I ever seen a set of prints there since the night he left, 10 months ago.

It was a week later and Charlie had forced me to get up and out of bed, threatening me with a move back to Phoenix and Renee. After throwing on clean sweats and a sweater I walked around the yard. I saw them then, the prints smashed into the mixture of snow and mud. My heart had sped up-_he had come back_- but as I got closer I realized they were way too small to be Edwards and then the longer I studied them the more I realized they probably weren't footprints at all. I no longer cried like I had before. I managed to get through my days without breaking down but often after I knew Charlie was asleep I let the tears fall as I thought of him. I even missed Rosalie. I missed hearing him hum to me while I drifted off to sleep against him. I would do anything to feel his cold hand holding mine, or to see his long fingers tangle in the wreck of toffee colored hair.

I walked into the bathroom, leaving the light off. I reached for the Tylenol and shoved 3 of them into my mouth and swallowing, not bothering with water. I had not looked at the alarm clock but since I could not hear Charlie shuffling around downstairs I assumed it was at least after nine in the morning. I turned the water and as the small bathroom filled with steam I undressed and peered into the mirror. I examined the new bruise on my left cheek; I had fallen the night before while I was walking down the stairs. I adjusted the water and stepped under the stream.

The water felt nice and I relaxed as the warmth took over. I stood directly under the water, with my eyes closed. I could stay in here all day but I had plans and I knew the hot water would run out shortly so I lathered my shampoo into my hair and quickly washed my body. As I wrapped the towel around my body I made a mental note to buy more shampoo. I was almost out, although I could have sworn I had just bought some.

I dressed quickly in the blue one piece suit and a pair of jeans and a short sleeve shirt. I had seen the sun trying to peek into the window and knew that it would warm up quickly. I just prayed the forecast was wrong and that the predicted rain would skip us. My hair was still damp but I ran my hands through before throwing it up into a ponytail. I grabbed my cell and walked downstairs. Jake would be over to pick me up soon. Jacob Black was my best friend. His dad Billy and my dad, Charlie often fished or watched the game together. And it had been Billy and the others from La Push who had searched for me that cold night. I started hanging out with Jacob after Edward left so that my dad would stop worrying. He was sweet and he was my best friend. Though I often got the feeling that he loved me in a different way then I loved him. I tagged along as he drove around looking for car parts and I hung out in the garage and on La Push beach with him. After a while I knew that I was no longer pretending to have fun with Jacob and the others, I was actually having a good time.

As if on cue my phone beeped and I read the incoming text.

**B there in 10-Jake**

I flipped the phone shut and walked into the kitchen. I took a Pop Tart from the box and opened the foil wrapper, taking a bite. I sat at the kitchen table and waited.

I heard the front door slam and I quickly panicked. I set the rest of the Pop-Tart on the table. Who was here? I glanced around looking for something to protect myself with but found nothing. I knew of no one, except Edward and Alice who would ever come in the house unannounced. What if it was Victoria?

My mouth went dry and the footsteps got closer.

"Bells, where are you? I thought you would be waiting outside, Bella?" I heard the gruff voice but I could not place it. It was familiar, yet I still could not place its owner. I shook my head trying to clear the fog. It worked, though I still felt funny. The voice belonged to Jake.

"In here Jake." I hollered. I bit my lip and focused on trying to remember why he was here.

His tall frame came into view and then I remembered that he was picking me up so Embry could teach me how to surf. I shook my head again, wondering if it was possible for Alzheimer's to start at age 18. What was with me lately? Even Charlie had noticed something was different. He had jokingly made a similar Alzheimer's comment last week. I had made him 3 plates of scrambled eggs, each time forgetting that I had just made him a plate. He finally said something and even though his tone was light I could see the worry in his eyes. I had brushed him off, saying I had a headache, which was not a complete lie.

I refocused my attention to Jake and I gave him a hug, my arms barely able to wrap my arms around his broad, tan shoulders. I didn't know what they fed the boys on the Reservation but all of them were growing quicker than weeds.

I locked the front door and we both walked towards the Rabbit parked next my truck. I shut the door of the car and waited for Jake to start driving. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, you're certainly not the most coordinated person and you've never mentioned surfing before." He spoke quickly and I knew he was just giving me an out, but I really wanted to do it.

I was sure that surfing would be another "dangerous" thing that would allow me to hear Edwards voice again. I know that sounds crazy but it seemed that the more I did something unsafe the more I could hear Edwards's velvet voice. I had found that out sometime in April and I took full advantage of it, even going as far as buying a motorcycle and having Jacob teach me to ride.

"Jake, I'm sure. Don't worry, I'll be fine. "I told him, giving him a smile. "Come on; tell me the basics while you drive." I told him. He still had not started the car and I waited, wondering if he was backing out, his eyes were narrowed and he stuck the tip of his tongue out before putting the car in reverse and pulling out of the driveway.

"Well, Embry is just going to have you get used to the board today and then tomorrow you'll actually get into the water and try and pop up." I hoped my disappointment didn't show on my face. I really wanted to get into the water today. As if he read my mind Jake continued, "The swells are too high today for a novice. "

I bit my lip and muttered an "ok." This seriously dampened my plans for hearing Edwards voice. I wanted to fight him but at the same time I knew it would get me nowhere except make him wonder even more what the big deal was. I watched the green scenery pass by and closed my eyes. My headache was still there but instead of the pounding it was a dull throb.

We made it to La Push and I could make out the shapes of some the Res boys down by the water, near the spot that Jacob had told me about the Cold Ones. It was because of Jacobs's story that I knew what Edward and his family were. We shuffled, hand in hand through the sand; large waves were coming up towards the sand bubbling and then washing away. Sam Uley, dressed as usual in just a pair of jean cut offs waved and I saw Emily Young behind him. The two were engaged and made a cute couple. Quil and Embry were tossing a Frisbee back and forth.

"Hey Bella! Quil was tall, like the others but he had this baby face that contradicted his height. His skin was a medium brown and I noticed he had shot up once again since I had seen him last. He tossed the Frisbee to Embry and jogged over to me.

"Hi Quil. What have you been eating? All of you seem to grow another inch every time I see you. "I teased. The boys looked at each other and then shrugged.

Emily's quite voice answered "Must be the muffins I make them. As soon as I bring one batch out of the oven they are already begging for more. "I laughed with her and kicked some sand towards Jake. His long hair drifted with the slight breeze.

"So you ready to do this Bella?" Embry pointed to two surf boards lying in the sand. "I still can't believe you want to learn, I mean you can barely stand on land for longer than 15 minutes." The others laughed and whooped at the joke.

I stuck my tongue out and shook my head. "Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'll be more graceful in the water, you know, like I should have been born as a shark or something." This earned more high fives and I was sure each of them was imaging me as a shark.

I moved to one of the boards and picked it up. It was taller than I was and I was surprised at how heavy it actually was. I listened as Embry talked about how to position myself on the board. I tried to be patient but the waves did not seem so bad and I was hoping if he got through his speech soon he might reconsider taking me out in the water.

"Yup, I understand Embry. Can we go now?" I said after he finished up his lecture.

He shrugged, "I think it would be okay." and looked to Jacob for conformation.

"Sure, sure. If you really want to."

I was so happy that I could have kissed him but I restrained myself and pulled off my jeans, blushing. All three of the younger boys had become quite and I hurried with the wet suit, wanting to get myself covered. I was glad Emily was letting me borrow her wet suit. Some clouds had rolled in and while it was July, this was also Washington. It rained here was too often for my liking, but at the same time it was the reason I loved it here. The Cullen's had moved here for the lack of sunshine. Without the cloud covered skies I never would have met him.

I was fully covered now and so I waited for Embry to tell me what to do next, Quil was suiting up as well and I also saw Sam holding a board. We all walked to the water's edge and I dipped my toe in, hissing and pulling it back out. Holy Crow that was cold. I felt a fat drop of moisture hit my nose and then another one. I shut my eyes and tried to will the rain away. "I'm guessing your against surfing in the rain?" I questioned.

Embry and Quil both looked at me. Embry's dark eyes reminded me of puppy dog eyes and he apologized but said that tomorrow for sure we would go out. The sky darkened just then and the rain spit harder from the sky. I started to make a break for the car when I felt Jacobs strong arms encircle my waist and lift me up, bridal style.

"Slow down, were both going to biff it?" I yelled.

"You don't trust me Bella?" His tone was teasing but I knew Jake well enough to know he meant more. I didn't respond and we did make it into the VW without meeting the sand or pavement. "You want to come to my house? Maybe order a pizza?" He asked as he turned on the car.

"Um, I better get home. I got some laundry to get done and I have to make dinner for Charlie." I explained, "But I had a lot of fun. Thanks for setting this up. "

"Sure, sure. " He said, watching the road. Neither of us said anything and when he pulled up beside my truck once again I opened the door wondering what to say. Jacob watched me and I knew he wanted to say something and I also knew it was not something I wanted to hear.

"Did you hear from Edward?" He asked me, moving his eyes to the dashboard.

I was stunned, Jacob rarely brought up Edward. I expected him to tell me he changed his mind on the surfing idea. "No, of course I haven't. Why?"

"You're sort of acting weird again, like you were before. I'm just worried about you. Like this morning, for a minute it was as if you didn't even see me. "

He waited for me to respond and I honestly didn't know what to say. I could tell him the truth but that would for sure get me locked up in the crazy house.

_Oh Jake, no big deal but whenever I do anything remotely dangerous I hear my ex-boyfriends voice telling me not to do it, I lose track of time, sometimes I can't even remember who you are. And just too round things off I'm scared that a vampire is after me since my vampire friends killed her vampire mate. _

Yup, Jake would take that news well. I lied instead, "I just haven't been sleeping well, plus I have been picking up all those extra shifts lately. I must be getting burnt out."

"Sure, I understand. I just worry about you. I wanted to make sure he was leaving you alone. You don't need him coming back into your life, look what he did to you when he left…" I felt my temper start to rise and I tried to swallow it back down.

I forced myself to smile and nodded. "Thanks Jacob. I better get in though, before the rain gets worse. "

He reached over and squeezed me into a hug. I ran to the front door, my hair was already soaked and I reached in my bag for my key. I glanced back as Jacob disappeared from the drive. Charlie was still at the station so the house was quite. I took the stairs two at a time; I wanted to shower before I started dinner.

"Bells, I'm home" Charlie walked into the kitchen as I was dicing up some onions. My father walked to the table and sat down, tossing his Sheriffs hat to an empty chair.

"Hey dad, I just figured I would reheat the chili from the other night. I just have to finish the onions. "I continued dicing, careful not to slice my finger.

"Sounds great, so what did you and Jake do today?" I shrugged before picking up two steaming bowls and walking to the table. I waited to answer till I sat down.

"We went to the beach and played Frisbee with Quil and Embry. Sam and Emily were there too. "I couldn't hear his response since it was said around a mouth full of chili. I added the onions to mine and pointed to the sour cream, "Can you pass the table dad?"

"You mean the sour cream?" He laughed. I scowled, isn't that what I just said.

"Yeah, the table." He set his spoon down and looked at me. I rolled my eyes, why was he being difficult? All I wanted was the damn…wait, what did I want again? I couldn't remember. Everything was blurry again; I shut my eyes and tried to focus. I barely heard Charlie talking to me, asking if I was ok. Just as suddenly as I forgot I remembered. "Dad, sorry, it's been a long day. Please just pass the sour cream." He was now standing next to me, worry and something else, fear maybe, clouded his brown eyes and he looked at me like he was about to tell me I was dying.

"Sweetie, you just asked me to pass you the table twice and then zoned out, I think you need to see a doctor. "

I opened my mouth to argue but he stopped me. "I've given you a lot of leeway since you came to Forks but damn it I'm worried about you. You're having headaches almost every day, can't remember things and now you can't say the correct words for things." He moved to sit back down, "Please for me Bells?"

He had a point. Not that I wanted to see a doctor but it couldn't hurt right? I chewed the inside of the cheek as a mulled it over. Maybe I could finally get rid of the headaches. "Ok dad. I'll out a call in tomorrow and make an appointment."

I pushed the rest of my chili around the bowl, no longer hungry. Charlie let out a satisfied grunt and continued eating. I felt as if the air had changed somehow. Everything looked the same but I knew it would never be the same again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank to everyone who has put me on alert. Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Chapter 2—July 23****rd**** 2007**

**Bella**

I poured myself a bowl of cereal-coco puffs- and sat at the table. I was trying to decide how to spend my day when my phone chirped.

"Hello"

"Miss Isabella Swan please"

I shoved the last bite of my cereal in my mouth and answered her, "This is Bella." I heard papers shuffling. She was probably checking the "nickname box".

"Bella, this is Amy from Dr. Benson's office. He asked me to call and ask you to come in as soon as possible today. Can you be here in an hour?"

"Well, um is everything ok? Why do I have to come in today?" I was starting to panic.

The receptionist cleared her throat, "Bella dear, I don't have access to anything, I just relay what the doctor wants, will you be able to come in?

I huffed, anger was overtaking the panic. "Yes."

"Good, we will see you in an hour. Oh, we always suggest that patients bring a support person with them."

The line went dead and I played the last week in my mind.

_The first doctor I saw was a general physician. He had rushed me through my symptoms and told me he would run blood work but did not expect anything to come of it. He was sure it was just stress, or drugs. The man had asked me 5 times in as many minutes if I was using drugs. I could tell he didn't believe me and that was when I snapped,_

"_Listen asshole, I'm not a doctor but I can sure as shit tell you that I am not on drugs, now figure out what the fuck is wrong with me so I can get the fuck away from you."_

_My heart had been pounding and the doctor was now looking at me with careful eyes. I had no idea what had come over me. But the angry outburst left as suddenly as it had appeared. I kept my head down, no longer wanting to look at the doctor; I was ashamed of my outburst and hoped that Charlie would not hear about it. I fully expected the doctor to kick me out but he had the nurse draw some blood. I avoided watching the needle and was proud of myself when I didn't flinch as the needle hit beneath my skin. _

_They told me they would call with the results and then sent me on my way. The call came the next day. They explained that there was nothing to worry about they just wanted to repeat the blood work and have another doctor run some more tests. So I went to Forks hospital and pushed past the memories of the day that Edward had saved my life. This doctor was a Neurologist and he told why I was seeing him. Telling me that something was slightly off with my blood work. After more blood was drawn_ _he handed me a piece of paper with a list of questions and I checked the corresponding boxes. The more yes's that I checked the more the feeling that something had changed became more intense. _

_The Neurologist was extremely kind as he asked me to give him more detail on some things. I told him how my headaches had started and how they were getting more intense, I paused as he asked me about hearing voices. This would really send me to the loony bin. I bit my lip and then I heard the velvet voice. He was here, even though I was not in danger he was speaking to me. I really must be crazy. _

"_Tell him, Love." The simple words warmed me and I felt the doctor's eyes on me, taking a breath I told him about how I heard Edwards's voice and surprisingly he didn't laugh. Instead his eyes narrowed and he leaned forward. _

"_Bella, I think it is extremely important that you allow us to get an MRI of your brain." He spoke softly and I just nodded. The way he had said it was like he expected me to argue, but if I was already here why not have it done. _

_They did an MRI that day and 2 days later they did something similar to an MRI only had to stay still longer. I was also given a vision and hearing test. No one told me what they suspected, they told me they were ruling things out but I had pulled up Google at home that night. They were looking for a tumor. I researched the symptoms and types of brain tumors until 3 am that morning. I was left more confused than before. _

I locked up the house and walked outside feeling the sun on my face. I climbed up into my truck and started the thunderous engine. I smiled as I remembered how Edward felt about my truck. My dad had given the truck to me when I moved here from Phoenix. It was actually Billy's old truck. I loved it but he always thought it was more death trap then a classic vehicle. It also bugged him that the truck could not go over 55 miles an hour.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot and shut the truck off. I ran my hands through my hair, I had forgotten to brush it, and let out the breath that I had been holding. It was now or never. I walked through the front doors and past the help desk, waving to a woman with short black hair. She was the mother of someone I knew from school but I could not remember who. My Chucks squeaked as I shuffled over the tile floor. I was finally at the small Neurology department here in Forks. Dr. Benson actually had an office at Olympic Medical in Port Angles but he came to Forks twice a week that way his patients would not have to drive so far for routine tests and checkups.

The young receptionist, Amy gave me a small tight smile and pointed to one of the chairs in the small waiting room. I took the one closest to the door. My phone beeped and I muttered an expletive to myself for not remembering to turn it off. It was a text from Jake; I also saw I had missed two calls from my dad and one from my friend Angela.

**Wanna hang out?-Jake**

I turned the phone to vibrate and shut it, not bothering to text him back.

I only had to wait a few minutes before I was called back. The room was the same as any other room in the hospital. The walls were beige and two chairs were against the wall, a large examining table stood in the middle. I hopped on it as the nurse asked me how my headaches had been and if anything had changed since I was here the other day. She took my blood pressure and then left the room, telling me that Dr. Benson would be in shortly.

I swung my legs underneath and around the lip of the table, just for something to do. The rack of magazines on the wall were all outdated and even if they weren't I doubt I could understand any of them. They looked like medical journals. I heard voices in the hallway and knew why my dad had called me twice. There was a short knock on the door before he burst in, still wearing his sheriff's hat.

"Bella, they called me this morning and left me a message, asking for you. Have they told you anything? I guess they had my number down as your primary number for some reason. "His tall frame took up a lot of room in the small space and for a second I wanted to laugh at that thought but I shook it from my mind and motioned for him to sit.

"No, I'm still waiting. They told me I should bring someone, maybe that's why they called you?" I questioned. I was now pissed because wasn't this stuff supposed to be confidential.

He held up his hands and gave a small laugh, "Meh, I think they just confused the numbers Bells. No need to get angry." Shit, I had said that last part out loud. "Whatever it is we will get through it. I'm here for you sweetie."

I wanted to say something; my dad was like me most of the time. We never showed a lot of emotion towards each other but I didn't know what to say.

I shrugged instead, just wanting to drop the subject now and we both continued to wait. We avoided small talk as I twisted my long hair around my hands and my dad pretended to read one of the journals. After what seemed like an eternity but really was only like 10 minutes I heard a soft rap at the door before it opened.

Dr. Benson stepped in carrying MRI images and some other papers.

"Good morning Bella, Mr. Swan." I tried to find some hidden message in his greeting but it was identical to the warm welcome he had always given me.

"Good Morning doctor." I said. "So, do you know why I have been having the headaches?" He sat in the chair next to Charlie and nodded.

"I do, unfortunately it is not something that we can fix. We can treat the symptoms but only for a short time." He paused, looking up at me and then to Charlie who was staring him down. As if Charlie's badge could somehow stop the doctor from delivering any sort of bad news. "Bella, I'm sorry but you have Glioblastomas multiforme. It's a type of brain tumor." He continued and I half listened as I tried to stop the tears from falling. I didn't need to hear it from him. I knew what it was and I also knew I would die within the next two years from it. Glioblastomas multiforme was one of the tumors I had researched online. I didn't dare look at Charlie; I knew if I did I would completely break down. Dr. Benson continued to talk; I caught bits and pieces of it. "14-16 months to live with chemotherapy and other treatments", not responsive to most treatments", cancer". I jerked my head up when Charlie interrupted him. His voice barked out the question through the tears that he was choking back.

"You're saying she has no hope? Just like that, you see her three times and you have already given up?"

The doctor cleared his throat and his voice was calm as he replied. "The tumor is quite large and Bella is already showing extreme symptoms. And they are progressing fast. We can't operate because of the tumors location; it will do more harm than good. The best that we can do is to try minimizing her symptoms and make her as comfortable as possible. "

I wanted to be angry with him for being so calm, after all he had basically just placed me on a sick form of death row but I couldn't. I knew it wasn't his fault. He was just the one that found out. I still avoided Charlie, even when I felt him place his arm around me. I made myself focus on the doctors words. Apparently I would be prone to making rash, dangerous decisions, -_like hanging out with vampires_- , hallucinations that in my mind would go for hours, even days. I mulled that tidbit over, I would have no idea what was real in my life or what was fake.

"When will that happen?" I asked

"Honestly, given your other symptoms I am surprised that it has not happened yet." He stood up and placed the MRI films on the light box in the room. I watched as he pointed out the tumors and a light bulb went off in my head.

Edward wasn't a vampire. Of course, it made sense now. I must have imagined it because of the tumor. But I knew for certain that Edward and his family were real. Everything involving him and sharp teeth, ungodly strength and marble build was just a story that my brain told me. I felt almost giddy with this news and then reality crashed through me though as Charlie grabbed my hand, his fingers brushing the scar on my wrist from James. Edward Cullen and his family were vampires and I had the scars to prove it. Besides vampire or not he had left me, told me he no longer loved me. He was gone from my life forever; the only thing that changed is I would be dead sooner than he had originally thought.

"What happens next?" I'm sure my voice sounded cracked but I knew it was the question that had to be asked. My father's grip tightened on me and I wondered how Renee would take the news. How could I break her heart?

"That depends on what you want to do Bella. As I said the choices are limited, many would give you a few more months but they would be hard months. I recommend chemotherapy and radiation treatments." He looked to me for conformation before he continued in the same calm voice he used before. "I also want to get you started on anti-seizure medication. Seizures are very common with this type of tumor.

He rambled on the other treatments options but I knew I didn't want them. If I was going to die anyway I didn't want to prolong it with tortuous pain and suffering.

"I know this is a lot to take in in just a few hours so take your time. I want to see you again tomorrow in my office at Olympic Medical. If you have any questions before then call this number. It's my cell and I always have it on me unless I am in surgery. "He handed me a card before turning to Charlie and shaking his hand

He left the room, closing the door behind him. The man had just put a time limit on my life and now he had left me, with just my thoughts and Charlie. My father was devastated and stood beside me; I think he was trying to figure out what to say. I decided to speak first. "Come on dad; let's go home and get some lunch." He nodded and we walked quickly to the waiting room. We stayed silent, walking side by side to the parking lot. What was someone who had just been told they had a brain tumor do? Or say, especially to those that loved them? It was just too much to take in and try to sort through at the moment.

Instead of going to my truck I went to my dad's cruiser and sat in the passenger seat as he started the car and we made our way home. I was tired, confused and angry. At the moment my concern was on my family and my friends. My mother and Phil would be devastated of course; and I would have to tell Jacob. Edward came into my mind again. What was the protocol for ex-boyfriends? Even if they were vampires? It didn't take long to drive home and when we got in the house I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out stuff for sandwiches. I wasn't hungry but I didn't know what else to do.

"I'm going to call Renee and I think it would be best if she came up here right away. We need to decide what you want to do. "This time he wasn't holding back the tears. It was strange to see my father crying. I nodded and placed his sandwich in front of him but he just picked up his phone and I could hear the faint ring as he waited for my mom to pick up. I should have been the one to call and tell her but I just couldn't do it. Her phone must have gone to voicemail because he just told her to call him as soon as possible and hung up. He didn't touch his lunch.

We both just sat there, picking at the food but still not eating. After a half hour he pulled out his phone again. I heard him tell someone that he would not be in for a few days but to call him if he was absolutely needed.

"I'm going to shower and then I should probably call Jake, and maybe Angela. Oh, I'm supposed to work tomorrow at the store but I'm not sure if I still should go in." I said the last sentence as a question.

"Sure Bells, take a nap before you call Jake okay? And I'll call the Newton's in a little bit. "

I left my plate on the table and started up the stairs, tripping over the third step and almost face planting into the fourth step.

I showered quickly, not bothering to dry my hair even with a towel. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head. As I drifted off to sleep I could hear Charlie's voice from downstairs and then I was dreaming, of vampires and tumors and the time that I promised Edward that I would take care of myself.

**Alice**

I chased after Jasper and Emmett through the woods, past the creek. The wind whipped past my body as I sped through the trees. We had caught the scent and now it was time for the kill. The deer were about 3 miles west of us. We slowed down, waiting for the right moment. I could hear a bird in the tree next to me and as I crouched down the vision flashed before me.

_She lay in a bed, her body smaller than the last time I had seen her. A black scarf was around the top of her head. An older man in a white coat stood in the doorway of the drab room talking to a man with curly brown hair in whispered words. A woman with short brown hair sat in a chair holding onto the girl's hand, careful not to hit the tubes that led from her hand to the IV's and machines gathered around the bed. _

_The woman sobbed and the girl was telling her that it was okay, she knew how to make it better. A white board held the date- August 2nd 2007- underneath the date was the girls name written in big bold letters. There were a few other things written below the name. A brown corkboard was to the left of the white board. It held pictures of the girl's friends and family. Next to each picture was corresponding names. A stack of books were on the table nearest the girl. One was flipped open on top, Writhing Heights. _

_The older man left and the tall man came over to the girl's bedside. _

"_I want you to call him, today. He can make me better and I trust him. I want to see them all" Her voice was tired and her eyes were a dull brown. _

"_I don't think that's a good idea. It might just cause you more stress. "The man's voice was pleading. The woman nodded her head in agreement._

"_I won't listen to them; I don't do anything that they ask unless he comes here. You know that Dr. Cullen is one of the best. Please, dad. You yourself said I needed to surround myself with those who love me. They love me. I know you don't think that but they do. Please, this is my last wish." Her voice pleaded back to him. _

"_Sweetie, Dr. Cullen is a surgeon. I doubt if he would know where to begin with your case. But if you take a nap, I'll think about it."_

_The girl sighed and nodded. Her eyes closed and the man placed a kiss on her head. He whispered to the woman ion the chair and walked out of the room. The girl's eyes popped back open and she chanced a panicked look at the woman in the chair. Then her eyes settled on the corkboard and her body relaxed. She closed her eyes once again and the name came from her lips. Quite, but if you were close enough you would be able to hear it. "Edward"_

The vision was over. Jasper gave me a questioning look and Emmett was impatiently tapping his foot, making the trees shake.

"Bella is asking for us."

I jumped closer to Jasper. His blonde hair hung over his face as he struggled with his emotions. He had never forgiven himself for the way he acted that night. I squeezed his hand into mine.

"Is she okay? Are we going? Is Edward going?" Emmett asked. He had missed Bella almost as much as I had.

"I don't know," I said, "A decision has not been made yet." I debated on whether I should tell them everything that I saw. I could tell Bella was sick but I did not see what was making her sick. Maybe a trip back to Forks was necessary.

**So tell me what you thought…also did you like getting a glimpse of Alice?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M.**

**Chapter 3—July 23****rd**** and July 24****th**** 2007**

**Alice **

**July 23****rd**** 2007**

Yes, a trip to Forks sounded like a great idea. I wouldn't meddle; well I wouldn't meddle too much anyway. I just wanted to see fully for myself what was going on. Regardless of how stupid and stubborn Edward was being Bella was one of my best friends. If she needed me I was going to be there. I sped around the house in Alaska throwing clothes into suitcases and making lists in my head of what our old house would need. Something told me that no matter what the outcome of the vision was I would not be leaving Forks before Bella did.

"Alice calm down, you said a decision has not been made yet." Jasper was standing in the corner, watching me flit about. His blonde hair was like a halo surrounding his face. There was no doubt that jasper was my soul mate but sometimes he tested my nerves.

"Jasper, Bella is sick. I am going back to her regardless of what Charlie decides. "I grabbed a row of skirts that were hanging in my closet and tossed them onto the bed. "You know I already talked to Carlisle about this. He feels it's the right thing to do as well. "

I had spoken to as soon as we arrived home. The only thing we disagreed on was how to deal with Edward. He felt it best if someone went and told him, while I thought we should let him continue to sulk till we knew more. Edward had barely said more than a sentence to us since we left Forks. He stayed with us in Alaska for a few days and then went off on his own. I called it his "I'm too stubborn to go back to the girl that I love, so I am going sulk as I think about what might have been." trip.

We had decided that I would go now and set up the house back in Forks. We had left in such a hurry that most of the furniture was till there so there were only a few things I would have to get, such as clothes. Jasper was going to come with me, Esme and Carlisle would stay here. He needed to be here for his job and when, or if, Bella's father called next week. Emmett had offered to come with me and Jasper, but Rose had cut him off. She still did not understand why all of us were drawn to Bella. Carlisle had offered a solution and we had compromised. If Charlie did call then Emmett would come with him and Esme.

I continued to toss things into the now overstuffed suitcase before I gave up, I could always go on a shopping trip if needed. Yes, shopping would give me something to do while I waited.

With that settled I gave Jasper a kiss, I stood on the tips of my toes and my arms flew to his neck as I gripped him tighter all the while never allowing our lips to part. My focus was only on Jasper now. He had no issue controlling his emotions as he pushed me back against the wall. I heard something shift and knew the wall was now most likely cracked. My body continued to rock against his, never loosening my hold and he did the same. Each kiss was more intense than the last. I gasped as he entered me and relished the feel of him.

We stopped when I saw the moon hit the side of the window. I had lost track of time and there was still so much to do before we left in the morning. Jasper sighed as I pulled away and I gave him an apologetic shrug. He gave me a chaste kiss and I knew he felt how sorry I was. My attention was refocused now and I continued with my mental lists.

**July 24****th**

The plane touched down in Seattle just before noon. Jasper relaxed his body as the other passengers began to exit the plane. He had been hit with every emotion from lust to maddening anger during the flight. His eyes had shone when a young woman and a business man had entered the airplane lavatory. I gave his hand a squeeze and bolted upright. His scarred hand had traveled up my thigh but then the waves of anger had washed over him and the same hand had clenched into a hard first as it reached the hem of my skirt.

We walked out of the airport towards the Bugatti that sat waiting for us. I had called ahead to an old friend of the family and had the car delivered. I motioned for Jasper to grab the key from under the body of the car. He did and I bounced on my feet. I could not wait to drive this bad boy. I had once read that it could it could reach speeds of 265 miles an hour and it would still feel like you were gliding. I slid into the driver's seat, aweing over the incredible smoothness of the seats. The engine purred as I started it, I backed out slowly, anxious to hit the highway so that I could test the cars full potential.

I shifted and weaved through Seattle's lunchtime traffic. I was wondering where to go first, the house or to see Bella? No matter how much I wanted to let Bella know I was here for her, I knew I had to wait. I turned to Jasper, keeping the Bugatti at a steady 98.

"I think we should go to the house first and get some things situated and then after we hunt I want to take a trip to Bella's house. I'm almost positive she's there and not at the hospital yet. I won't let her know I'm there I just want to see her for myself. "

He murmured his agreement but I knew he was thinking about the last time he had seen Bella. I sometimes wished I had his ability to manipulate the moods of those I loved. I wanted to reassure him, I settled for grasping his hand and bringing it to my lips. I thought back to the last time I had seen Bella. It was a week after we took off to Alaska. I ran back, not even telling Jasper where I was going. I sat in the same tree that I knew Edward had spent many nights. I watched as Bella's crying shook her small body. She alternated between crying into her pillows and then glancing towards her stereo before she would go back to crying. I loved Edward but at the moment I was pissed that he had hurt someone I loved this much.

I had continued to watch as she slept, or attempted to sleep. She tossed and turned, tossing the blankets off and then throwing the pillows on the floor. She woke once, screaming. She was having a nightmare. I had wondered if it was a nightmare about Jaspers attempted attack or one of Edward. I jumped down from the tree as I heard a car start down the block. Dawn was breaking; I knew I had to go. I stopped at the police cruiser in the driveway and tugged the driver's door opened. I tore a piece of paper from a pad on the passenger seat and rooted around for a pen. I quickly wrote out my note before setting it on the dash.

_Charlie-I am so sorry for Bella's heartbreak. Please tell her I love her. If you need anything please call. –Alice _

I'm not sure why I left the note for Charlie and not for Bella, at the time it had just seemed like the right thing to do. I had left two numbers. One was my cell and the other was the house phone for our new home in Denali.

We were closer to Forks now and I slowed my speed down. We passed the old high school and the diner. Before long I could hear the soft sounds of the river near the house. I turned quickly onto the unpaved road. As the house came into view behind the massive trees that stood in the yard, I suddenly realized how much I had missed this particular home.

"Oh Jasper, it's good to be home. " I squealed as I jumped out of the car. We both raced up to the house. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I flicked my wrist and turned on the light, glad that we had never had the power or water shut off when we left. I hit the gadget that allowed the metal shutters to move aside. Sunlight filtered in through the glass windows. I worked quickly, throwing off the furniture covers and piling them into a corner. Jasper set to work on the upstairs.

After everything was to my liking, minus wall decorations that I would soon order, I went after Jasper. I climbed the curved stairs at normal speed, enjoying the feeling of coming home. I found Jasper in our old room. I could tell he was thinking and would want time to himself so I went back downstairs and whipped out my cell.

I called Carlisle first, leaving him a message that I was okay and to call me later. Then I called my most favorite home furniture store. I ordered a king size bed with mattress set. Of course Jasper and I would not use it but I wanted to have it just in case Bella was ever back here. The guy I spoke to promised to have it delivered tomorrow by three in the afternoon after I informed him who I was and that I would pay double. I turned on one of the laptops, scrolling through my favorite department stores. I ordered, rush delivery of course, everything that we would need for here. I also included some things for Bella.

Just as I was finishing up placing an order for grocery delivery (you could never be too careful), Jasper came downstairs.

"Jazz! I got everything ordered including food, just in case. Are you ready to hunt?"

"Yeah, let's go. I could hear a Bobcat calling to me earlier. "He smiled at me and just like we used to we ran past the trees and into the heavily shaded forest. We both found food quickly, Jasper caught his cat in record time and I found a small herd of deer by a small babbling creek. I inhaled the scent; burning filled my throat and I savored the taste of the warm blood. I snarled and growled as I fed. I felt better and I knew Jasper did too.

He hollered out to me, "Did you want to run to Bella's or take the car?" I tilted my head and stuck the tip of my tongue to my bottom lip while I thought it over. The car would attract a lot of attention that at the moment I did not want. I felt a pang of longing for the feel of the car's engine before deciding it would probably be best to do this the vampire way.

"Let's just run over there. That way we don't have to worry about hiding the car, okay?

"Sure, I don't have anything on me, do I?" I give him the once over, he was pristine, even after tearing his way through a Bobcat. I hugged him and we made our way towards the Swan house.

I could see the small house in the distance when the smell hit Jasper and I. It was awful, like a mix of wet dog and something that even my vamperic senses could not identify. I stopped and tried to find out where the smell was actually coming from. I walked closer to the Swan house and the smell got stronger. It was coming from the house. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle up and I let out a growl. I put my hand up to Jasper, signaling for him to stay where he was.

I crept to the nearest window and peered in. Bella was holding the hand of Jacob Black. He was shaking violently and asking her questions. I wanted to listen to the answers but the smell was so overwhelming. I noticed two other Quileute boys standing off to the side, the taller one sniffed and looked out the window. I ducked, hoping he had not seen me. I now knew why Bella's house and the air around it smelled so horrid. I went to Jaspers side and told him what I knew.

"Bella is hanging out with dogs, Jazz. Dogs, dirty temperamental creatures, she'll get hurt for sure. I know she lacked fashion sense but this was a huge lapse of judgment. We have to fix this. "Jasper was looking at me, amused.

"What?" I huffed, snapping a nearby branch off a tall tree.

"So Bella got a dog, what's the big deal?" He laughed and waited for my response. I had been so caught up with the news that I had forgotten that Jasper did not know the full story of the Quileute's.

"No Jasper, Bella is hanging out with werewolves." I twisted my hands together. His expression changed into one of disbelief. I had to fix this, but how? From the scene I saw Bella was close with Jacob. How close was she? "You remember how we are not allowed to go to La Push and I know Carlisle has told you about the treaty…"

"I see." I knew he was keeping calm so that I would stay calm but at the moment it was irritating me. We crouched in the woods for a few minutes, debating on how to proceed. I would defiantly need to get in touch with Carlisle tonight. I heard steps towards the driveway and I listened as I heard doors slam and cars drive away. They were leaving. I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder and I nodded. We knew the others would not here us as we go closer to the house. I peeked in the window, Bella was still on the couch, the woman I had seen in my vision sat beside her, and I could hear Charlie walking in another room. I could smell her, her scent was not overpowering to me like it had been for Edward but it did make me want to rush in and be closer to her. Her brown hair was tossed into a sloppy bun, the sweats and shirt she wore seemed to swallow her up.

Renee picked up a book that was on the coffee table and started reading; Bella yelled to her father that she wasn't hungry so there was no need to bother fixing her supper. She wiped her hands over her face and then it happened.

"Alice." She screamed. I panicked for a moment, before turning and running with Jasper near my side.

I cursed to myself for being so careless. I waited to see what she would do. I heard Renee respond with a "hmm? Renee must not have heard what Bella had yelled.

"Sorry mom, do you mind if I go outside for a minute, I want a few minutes to myself before the sun goes away. " Bella stammered out.

I was aware of her soft footsteps going towards the door and then I heard them on the damp earth, stepping over small rocks and sticks. I could see her now, looking at the woods. She walked closer and her soft voice whispered out.

"Alice, is that you? Are you here? Edward?" I took hold of Jasper's hand to keep from running to her. She stopped at the edge of the tress and her heart pounded in her chest. Surely she won't come in, then again look at the company she was now keeping. I sighed when she turned away muttering to herself, "Way to go Bella, the hallucinations have started." She was hurting and to add salt to her wounds she now thought she was crazy. The way she said it made it sound as if she expected to have hallucinations. I frowned, was that a symptom of her illness?

She went back into the house and I listened to the faint voices. She had an appointment with a Dr. Benson in the morning, I made a mental note to look him up, see what type of doctor he was. Charlie talked about the Newton's and that he thought Jacob took the news better than expected. I chuckled to myself when he said that because my sensitive ears could hear muffled howling to the east of us.

Jasper and I stood motionless and let the hours pass by until we heard her steady and soft breathes. I knew she was asleep. We made it back home quickly, one advantage of never dying yet never living. I called Carlisle. I wanted his opinion on both the Quileute situation and the possibility that Bella's comment would give insight into what was wrong with her.

"Alice, how are things going? Have you seen Isabella?" He asked me.

"We saw her." I replied, "Carlisle she was with Sam Uley, Jacob Black and Embry Call. We could smell them before we were even at the house. All of them are werewolves, I don't think Bella knows but she attracts danger like crazy and I just don't think it's a good idea that she hangs out with them. What if they lose control and hurt her?" I started to wait for him to answer me but his pause was too long and I rushed on. "She saw me looking in the window and came out looking for me. Jazz and I hid and after calling for me and Edward she said the hallucinations must be starting. She is seeing a Dr. Benson in Port Angles tomorrow. "

I was fluttering around, too anxious to stay still. Carlisle's voice was reassuring and combined with the calming energy that Jasper was pushing in my direction I folded myself onto the floor, crossing my short legs Indian-Style.

"I agree that werewolves-just like newborns- are dangerous and I do wish Bella was not hanging out with them but we can't do anything about that Alice. I also remember how much Jacob cared for Bella so I can't see him putting her in danger; least I hope he would not subject her to that. Until Bella knows that you and Jasper are there then there is no way we can warn her. "

I nodded into the phone and said "okay" before I waited for him to answer my unasked question in regards to what I head Bella say.

"Dr. Benson is a neurologist in Port Angles. I have never worked with him but he is a highly respected doctor who specializes in brain tumors. One would expect to have hallucinations with a diagnosis of certain types of tumors. "

If I was able to cry I was sure that the tears would be falling by now. Sadness pushed back against the calming vibes Jasper was trying to direct to me. "Bella has a brain tumor?" I moaned into the phone.

I heard Esme gasp and something slammed near the speaker of Carlisle's phone. Emmett must have been near him as well. "I of course don't know for sure Alice but that's certainly what it sounds like. Listen, I talked to Tanya today. She told me that Edward left, she was pretty sure that he was coming back home. I won't lie to him, if he asks I will tell him. He's my son. I won't lie to anyone in my family." He lectured me.

"I know, I don't expect you too. Does she know why he left?" I had tried so hard to keep my thoughts from him. I wondered if he had still been able to read my thoughts. Or maybe he had read the thoughts of someone else in our family. Would he come here?

"No, he left a late this morning, she said he thanked her letting him stay there but said it was time for him to find his way home." I heard Carlisle sigh when he was done talking. I know he wanted nothing more than to have Edward back home.

"Okay Carlisle, I'll call you later I have some things to do here and Jasper has been dodging enough emotions to last him a lifetime. We need some time to put ourselves back together.

I hung up and looked to Jasper. His twisted locks hid parts of his face. I knew he was exhausted. Well as exhausted as a vampire can be.

"Alice, I'm going to go hunt, if that's ok. I feel drained and need to get some energy back."

I told him that I would go with him and he shook his head. Something in the way he shook his head made me think he was also thinking about doing something else.

He gave me a deep kiss before taking off towards the woods. I watched the path he took and when he made up his mind, the choice came to me.

_Jasper sat next Bella's bed as she slept and all the pain, confusion and fear rolled off of her and onto him. His body shook with the feelings and when Bella woke up screaming he scrunched up his face concentrating on trying to make her feel better. After a minute she calmed down and fell back asleep. _

_When Bella had fallen back asleep he moved downstairs to the couch that Renee was sleeping on, and then after he helped Renee he moved to Charlie's room. He shook even harder than he had in Bella's room. Eventually he walked out the door, shutting it quietly. He checked on Bella once again before leaving the house and walking into the woods. _

The feeling of love that I had for Jasper seemed to explode inside of me, I wished he had told me what he was planning because I knew how tough the visit would be for him but I thanked the stars for making that vampire mine.

I decided to kill time by moving some furniture around so that I could fit Bella's bed where I wanted it, where it truly belonged. The black leather couch was still where it had always been and I moved it out into the hall. I made a dusting motion with my hands and waited for Jasper to come back home. No matter what the next few weeks would bring all of us would be pushed to the limit.

**Thank you all for continuing to read. I have the next chapter almost done. It will be Bella's POV and I'm skipping straight to August 2****nd****. Reviews make me so happy so please keep them coming. Let me know if there is something that you would like to see happen. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Chapter 4—August 2****nd**** 2007 **

**Bella**

I was no longer Bella; I was now Isabella Swan, patient at Olympic Medical Center in Port Angeles. I occupied room 115 and my life had become a series of tests and tears. I felt like I was in some kind or prison. My body wasn't even my own anymore. It had been taken over my numerous tubes. My life was not supposed to be like this. No one should ever have to go through this. How is one supposed to stay sane when they are told that their body has betrayed them? I remembered my last conversation with Dr. Benson, three particular sentences stood bold among the rest of them.

"_The tumor is just too big, much more advanced than we had originally thought Bella. There isn't anything that we can do at this point besides make you comfortable. My professional opinion is that you should try to enjoy the time that you have, the lucid moments. I'm sorry."_

Apparently my tumor was more advanced than the first MRI's had shown, they'd doubted I had 6 months let alone another year or so. My body and my mind were proving them right. Sometimes I would forget who I even was for a couple hours. At least I could handle that, but four days ago when I forgot who Charlie and Renee were and then proceeded to scream and curse at them, yelling that they get out of my room was the worst.

Both of them had tears in their eyes and hurt radiated from their bodies. Renee was shaking and finally they left. When they came back in a couple hours later I knew who they were and just had the faintest memory of my outburst.

That was the day my mother begged me to come dye at home. She hated the hospital and she also had it in her mind that maybe being around all the other sick people was rubbing off and making me worse. I had wanted to laugh at her conclusion but I knew her trying to hang on to any last thread that was left. I told her no, I actually liked the feeling of being in the hospital. It made me feel somehow more secure. Plus at least while I was here the nurses helped when I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time or when I spend the afternoon throwing up after a chemotherapy session. What little balance I had before getting sick was almost completely gone now. I needed help with showering. I just could not bear to put that burden on my parents.

The hallucinations had started almost as soon as I got the news. Hell, I was even seeing Alice and Jasper. The first time had been the day after Dr. Benson informed me and Charlie about the tumor. We had just gotten home after going to the office in Port Angles. Jake and his friends had come over for a little bit and after they left I caught a glimpse of spiky black hair outside my window. I had screamed her name and rushed outside but no one was there. Then that night I woke up partially from a nightmare and in my state I swear I saw a pair of gold eyes staring back at me. Almost as soon as I saw the eyes I drifted back to sleep, feeling much calmer then I had before.

The next morning I had once again gone to see Dr. Benson's for the third time in as many days. We had discussed treatment options and I agreed to receive care here at the hospital. Renee, Charlie and I were leaving when a black and red striped car, the type of car you only see in James Bond movies flew past us. I had not been able to see who was driving but my mind screamed to me that it was Alice. They had to be hallucinations, why would Alice come here but not show herself to me? Then I knew for sure I was imagining things when Jake had visited me, the day after I came to the hospital. As he came through the door my breath caught as I saw a mess of copper hair. I had blinked and then just like that the hair was gone. My heart ached. I was surrounded by my friends but the ones I wanted to be by my side the most were nowhere in sight, unless you count the times I imagined them.

The more that I imagined seeing the Cullen's the more I thought about calling the Cullen's. I knew what I wanted, I had known what I wanted even before Edward had left me. The Cullen's could help me.

I had tossed and turned most of last night. An idea that continued to grow, similar to the mass in my brain, filled my thoughts and before long I realized there was no point in trying to get some sleep. I was ready to start my new life. So early this morning while my mother slept in a chair pulled next to my bed, and my father slept on the cot under the window I made my decision. I was going to somehow, someway get in touch with the Cullen's. I would ask Dr. Cullen to change me. Surely he would do it. Or even maybe Alice? He had saved the others from death, why wouldn't he do the same with me? I wasn't sure what would happen when Edward found out but as far as I was concerned right now he could shove it. I even had a plan on what we could tell my parents. Carlisle would tell them about some great new clinical trial in some random place, he would take me there, turn me and then once I was past the point of wanting to rip my family's throat out I could come back. I would be miraculously cured. Sure there were some more kinks to work out, one of them being the fact that I had no idea how to get in touch with the Cullen family but I was determined. It made perfect sense in my mind.

I smiled to myself for the first time in days. I knew I had to look like a fool but I didn't care. I had figured everything out. A soft rap at the door diverted my attention and Jackie; the morning nurse gave me a small wave as she entered. I had been here 11 days and now knew all the nurses on this floor and most of the residents. I often forgot their names for a moment but after a few minutes I was able to remember them again. I noticed her hair was pink and was about to comment when I looked at the big white board my friends had given me. Someone had already written that Jackie had dyed her hair pink last week. This must be something I forgot often. I was in shock over how much I forgot.

"I'm thinking about going Purple next week." She said as she checked over the tubing in my arm and then the PICC line, in my chest. I would be getting more chemotherapy today. When Dr. Benson gave me the new prognosis the other day I wanted to stop all treatment, but I saw the hurt in my parents eyes and I agreed to continue the chemo and the anti-seizure medications. I also still took the morphine for the headaches.

"I liked the blue you had when I first got kitten."

She adjusted the sheet on the bed and then said, "I liked the blue you had when I first got here." This was something the doctors had started to try last week. Whenever I said the wrong word they said the sentence back to me with the correct world. At first it annoyed the shit out of me but now that it happened 2-3 times a day I had gotten used to being corrected.

"Has there been any change in your headaches?" she asked, I shook my head no.

"Well that's great Bella. Is there anything you want me to write on the board for you today?" I bit my lip and tried to think of anything that I may forget.

"If you could write down when I start my chemo today and also just writes the word Cullen." I wanted to be reminded just in case my brain decided to screw me over today.

"Sure thing." She replied and walked over to the board and changed the date to the 2nd also adding that my chemo would begin at 11:00 AM. "I just got _Hot Fuzz _from Netflix and my man is outta town if you want me to drop by tonight?"

"Thanks but I'm expecting some friends from out of town tonight, maybe next time?" I really appreciated her offer but I was still banking on my plan working. The less people involved the better. Last week we had watched _Because I said So _and ate candy and popcorn. I had become close to Jackie, probably because her cousin had the same tumor that I have, which was the whole reason Jackie decided to become a nurse. I loved her because she was one of the few who did not treat me like a patient.

"Ooh fun. Are there any cute boys coming?" She teased me while making notes in my chart.

"Um, I uh, no. "Her question made me wonder about him. Would Edward come? Did I want him here? "Hey you're a married woman you know." I joked back.

"I can look, I just can't touch." She gave me a wink and I smiled at her.

"I'm sorry Jackie but I have to go to the bathroom. " I blushed. I hated this part. Sometimes I could get to the bathroom on my own but sometimes, like today when I had next to no sleep it was harder to walk.

She reached for my arm and helped to my feet, her other hand grabbed the IV stand. She wheeled it next to me as I slowly padded to the small bathroom. Since I was in the hospital gown this morning I did not need help getting undressed. I finished quickly and after washing my hands Jackie helped me into the bathroom.

After she helped me get comfortable she left.

The door clicked shut and my father stirred, growling at the early time before sitting up. I wished he would go sleep at home. My mother too, I knew that they both were getting close to no sleep, I mean the chair and cot could not be comfortable. Both of them refused to leave except for to run home to shower and change. They looked as if they had aged 10 years in just a week's time.

"Morning dad, did you sleep well?" 'I asked, knowing that he had not. He had tossed and turned as much as I had.

He ran his hands over his eyes, removing the sleep and gave me a smile. "Not too bad Bells, how about you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, pulling at the IV line as I did causing a quick burst of pain. "Hey dad I'm really craving French toast and you know the cafeteria French toast sucks. I'm sure I'll probably upchuck it after chemo but do you mind running to one of the diners here and getting me some? I actually had no desire to eat French toast, or anything really but I wanted to talk to my mom alone. I figured if I won her over to my side dad would follow suit

"Actually I need to run home for about an hour and I can stop at the diner in Forks for you. Will two and half hours be too long for you to wait? I know your chemotherapy starts at eleven. "

"No, it will be fine dad. Drive safe and can you also grab some more clothes for me?"

"Will do." He answered. He gave me a peck on the cheek and left. I tried reading, but couldn't concentrate so I gave up. Setting Writhing Heights on the top of the stack and turning on the TV. I searched through the channels, settling on watching a Vampire in Brooklyn. How fitting for my plan, I chuckled to myself. Shortly after eight my mom woke up. I watched as she stretched her arms over her head yawned.

"Morning sweetheart." It came out almost like a whisper, coated in sleep.

"Uh, mom I need to talk to you. Before dad gets back." I stammered. I was losing the confidence that I had felt throughout the night and earlier this morning.

"Mm? Oh just let me wash up and then we can talk, okay?"

I waited as she used the restroom and then started coffee in the small coffee maker that was in the room. I played with the edges of the black silk scarf that was tied around my head. I still had my hair but it was thinning and now sat right below my chin. I wore the scarf to catch the clumps that would randomly fall out. I wondered how long it would be before I had bald spots. Alice was going to have a panic attack when she saw me like this. Thinking about Alice gave me some of the confidence back and decided just to come out with it.

"I want Dr. Cullen to take a look at my files, I know how you and dad feel about him and his family but they did nothing wrong, Edward did. I'm going to ask dad to find his number and call him for me. I really think he can help me."

For a second I thought she was going to drop the coffee cup she had been about to fill but instead she set it on the counter before turning to look at me. "I don't think that's a good idea. Even if they did not hurt you Edward did and I don't think it's a good idea to be around them. "She paused before continuing, "plus I thought he was living in LA now?"

"He is but hello, dads a cop and can find almost anyone." I whined. That was another kink in my plan, I knew there was no way that the Cullen's were living in LA, so I had no idea how even my father could try and find them but I had to give it a shot. I also focused all my energy on Alice. Maybe she would get a vision of me? Of course what if she had and they were happy in their little life without me, the klutzy human? I shook the thoughts from my head. Alice loved me. I knew she did, even if Edward didn't.

"No, it's not a good idea Bella." Even trying her hardest my mother still held no authority in her voice and I pushed away the feelings of guilt as I charged forward with my next words.

"Well, I am 18 and will do whatever I want, you can't stop me and I will find Dr. Cullen. You can help me or leave me. " The words came out harsher then I had imagined. I knew they would hurt her but I was still surprised by my success. Pain and defeat crossed over her face and I waited, I knew I had won.

"Sweetie, I'm not going to fight with you, whatever you want, I'll get it for you." She sobbed. It was as if a knife was in my heart and someone kept twisting it. I felt like a piece of shit, manipulating my mother like that but I tried to convince myself it was for the best.

The subject was swiftly dropped and we finished watching the movie just as Charlie came in, I could smell the syrup and my stomach did a summersault.

"French toast for everyone." He exclaimed. He set the Styrofoam containers on a small table and the bag holding my clothes near the bathroom door, before setting himself in the unoccupied chair.

"Thanks dad, but I'm just not very hungry now."

He didn't seem surprised by this and I watched as he filled his fork with toast and syrup, cramming it into his mouth. My mom kept shooting glances at me, no doubt still hurt and confused by my outburst earlier. I figured I might as well talk to Charlie now and I opened my mouth to start but he spoke first.

"I ran into Billy and Jake, they want to come up and see you today. I told Jake you would give him a call." My dad grinned at this idea and I knew that he loved it when Jake came by. It always seemed to lift my spirits.

I had just seen Jake the other day, we had played Rummy and then when I was forgetting what cards I had, even though I was staring right at them, he had quickly distracted me by dancing around the room to some new Top 40 song. Seeing his large body dance around the small room had made me burst into giggles. There was no greater best friend in the world. While I did want to see Jake, and now that I had my plan formulating, I knew I needed to see him soon I did not want to see him today.

I turned to the corkboard that was filled with pictures of people who I loved. The picture of Jake was one of my favorites, he was sitting around a bonfire, a goofy smile was starting to play at his lips when the picture was taken.

"Maybe tomorrow, I have something I need to talk over with you." I picked at a piece of imaginary lint.

"Alright Bells, that's fine. Just give him a call and let him know. I know they have a big surprise for you." His eyes twinkled for the first time in days and although I hated surprises it made my dad happy.

"Sure dad, listen I want to talk to you about Dr. Cullen. " His smiled faded and he looked to Renee, who gave him a tight smile. "I want him to look at my medical files. I have a feeling he can help me. "I waited; I knew he would not agree as easily as Renee had. Unlike Renee my father had seen the pain I was in after the Cullen family had left.

He cleared his throat. "Dr. Cullen is no longer in Forks Bella. He left almost a year ago. Remember they moved to LA. "The way he said the words made it seem like he was talking to a 2 years old. Telling them why they couldn't go play in the rain or something. I hadn't expected this; he wasn't upset that I was asking for Carlisle, he thought I had forgotten that they had moved.

I moved my pillows around and pulled the blanket up, "I know dad, I do remember. I want you to call him and see if he will come back to Forks. "

"No Bella." His voice was firm and I fought back.

"Yes, dad. I won't do a thing these other doctors want me to. I'll refuse all treatment and help; in fact I'll go now. I don't care what they say. It's my life and I can do what I want. What I want is a doctor I trust."

"Charlie, maybe we should get a nurse to come in and check on her?" My mother said quietly.

"No." I shrieked. My scream startled them. They were looking at each other and then back to me. I was almost grateful that a knock on the door interrupted whatever Charlie was about to say next. A blonde nurse walked into the room, carrying an IV bag.

"Morning, I'm just here to start the patient's chemotherapy. " See, like I said I was just a patient now. She waited for one of us to respond, well if I was going to threaten it I had to actually do it when the time came.

"No, I no longer want any treatment." I eyed by parents faces before turning back to the nurse. She was shocked. "Please tell Dr. Benson that I am ready to go home now, unless he is willing to get Dr. Carlisle Cullen here. "

I felt sorry for her, I wasn't sure if she was going to start crying or just run out of the room. She chooses the latter option. The door shut behind her with a click and I waited for my parents to say something.

"I don't think your being rational Bella. Think about it, Carlisle is not even in this state anymore. Are you even sure if I do get a hold of him he would even come? If he doesn't then what, will you continue to refuse treatment?"

I didn't know what I would do if the Cullen's did not come. I guess I would still refuse treatment just to get the suffering over more quickly.

Three knocks sounded on the door, Dr. Benson stepped into the room, a smile on his face. I really did like him. He was caring and like Jackie he remembered that I was not just a patient.

"Bella, I hear you've changed your mind on your treatment plan. You have every right to do so but I was wondering why the change? Maybe it's something that we can fix? "

"I want Dr. Cullen to get a chance to look at my chart." His eyes flashed with recognition of the name. "I know he is no longer at Forks, and I doubt he had privileges here but I just want his opinion."

"Well, you're right; he never did have privileges here. Do you mind if I speak with your father?" I shook my head and the two men walked to the doorway. My mother reached for my hand. She was crying. I had made her cry. The guilt was back and I swallowed hard.

Charlie and Dr. Benson were whispering, occasionally sneaking a glance at me. I tried to listen to them but they were too quite. I suddenly felt tired. Dr. Benson left and my father walked to the bed. I rushed the words out before sleep took over.

"I want you to call him, today. He can make me better and I trust him. I want to see them all" voice was tired and her eyes were a dull brown.

"I don't think that's a good idea. It might just cause you more stress. "Charlie was pleading with me now and I pleaded right back.

"I won't listen to them; I don't do anything that they ask unless he comes here. You know that Dr. Cullen is one of the best. Please, dad. You yourself said I needed to surround myself with those who love me. They love me. I know you don't think that but they do. Please, this is my last wish." My last wish, did I really just say that? I guess it was true in a way. This was only one of my last wishes, my very last wish could only be granted by a member of the Cullen family. `

"Sweetie, Dr. Cullen is a surgeon. I doubt if he would know where to begin with your case. But if you take a nap, I'll think about it." I barely heard him, I was too tired, and the arguing had taken all my energy. I sighed and gave him a small nod. I felt Renee tighten her hold on my hand.

I closed my eyes and felt a kiss being placed on the top of my forehead. I opened my eyes and looked at the woman in the chair and at the man who was walking out the door. I moved my eyes to the pictures on the corkboard and relaxed, closing my eyes once again. I dreamt of Edward almost immediately. He was singing his lullaby to me, like he had done almost every night that we had been together.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and sat up. I didn't see my mom or Charlie. It was after 4, maybe they were eating. If it was after 4 then that meant I had been asleep for over 3 hours. My mind raced with questions about my dad. I wondered if he was able to get in touch with Carlisle. He had told me he would think about it but I knew Charlie well enough to know that meant that he would do it.

I heard a squeak, like a chair moving across the floor and I turned my head quickly, feeling like I might faint. Two of my most favorite people stared back at me. I blinked and rubbed my eyes again, was I hallucinating? Surely even they could not get here in just a matter of hours. I must be imagining it.

"Oh Bella, I missed you so much" Alice's melodic voice sang. It seemed so real. I continued to stare at her and Jasper. Was I supposed to say something back? I wasn't sure how to deal with the hallucinations. I also did not want to say anything because I wanted them to stay. Even if they were just figments of my illness, they gave me comfort. Imaginary Jasper nudged imaginary Alice, laughing.

"Ali I think that Bella thinks that she is hallucinating." What, how did he know? I was suddenly very confused. Alice chuckled and then her hand pressed against mine. It was cold, just like I remembered, hard and soft at the same time.

"Bella, we are really here. Charlie called Carlisle a few hours ago but Jasper and I have been in Forks for almost 2 weeks. Renee and Charlie are having dinner. Your mom and Jasper had a very interesting conversation so I decided it best that they not be here when you realized we were here. The others will be here by morning. "I had missed her voice so much but I still wasn't sure that this was real.

There was only one way to find out, I pressed the call nurse button. Someone would come and check on me and if Alice and Jasper were really here the nurse would see them too. "We are here, you're not imagining us. " Her black hair was spiked as usual and she wore a white skirt with a bright yellow top. She rocked back and forth, full of energy. She reminded me of a Jack-in-the-Box, ready to spring at any moment. Her face was flawless; she was pale like me except her paleness seemed to emit a glow making her skin gorgeous.

The same nurse that had come in attempting to start my chemotherapy appointment walked in. "Yes?" Hmph, now I had to think of something quick. I did have to pee I guess I could always ask for her help.

"Um, I have to pee and I'm not sure I can make it on my own." The nurse came towards the bed but Alice stepped in front of her. I gasped, she was really here. I felt my face flush. I had just informed not only Alice but Jasper as well that I could no longer pee on my own.

"I can help her; I'm her best friend after all. Does she need to keep those with her?" she pointed towards the IV bags and waited for the nurse to answer her.

"Yes, those need to stay by her. Isabella, if you need anything just hit the call button. And Jackie wanted me to tell you that she might still stop by, I guess she picked up an extra shift. "She pressed her lips together and walked swiftly out of the room.

"You're really here," I stammered, "I thought you were only in my head. I'm so happy to see you, so Charlie did call Carlisle. "

"Yes, he did, like I said the others will be here in the morning. I've wanted to come to you sooner but I had to wait for the right time. "Oh shoot Bella, let me help you to the bathroom, I almost forgot. "Before I knew it I was already in the bathroom and Alice was helping me sit on the toilet. She turned herself around to face the wall and helped me stand when I was done. As I washed my hands she left the bathroom, only to return seconds later. She held up a pair of jeans and white shirt. She also had a pair of panties and a bra for me.

She smiled at me. "I've been cringing ever since I got the vision, that gown is hideous. " She helped me get dressed and I was too happy to argue or feel embarrassed. I actually felt better being out of the gown and into real clothes.

Alice picked me up once again and carried me back to the bed. Jasper was sitting in the chair normally occupied by Renee. His eyes were cast downward. I hoped he wasn't thinking about the last time we were together. I had forgiven him; I wanted him to forgive himself. It was just one of those things that happened when your best friend and your boyfriend were vampires.

As soon as I thought the word boyfriend, I became curious as to what Alice meant when she had said that all the others would be here. That must mean Edward too. I wanted to ask but I heard Charlie's voice in the hallway. The door swung open and Charlie and Renee walked in.

Renee's eyes immediately flew to Jasper who stared back at her. I remembered what Alice had said about them having a conversation. I made a mental note, not that they did me any good anymore, to ask Alice about it. Charlie cleared his throat causing Renee to break the stare.

"How are you feeling honey?" She reached for my free hand; Alice was holding the other one.

"I feel wonderful mom. I missed," I paused looking at Alice; I was blanking on her name. She seemed to know what was wrong and let go of my hand.

"Alice." She pointed to her small frame and then reached for her bag, drawing out pictures and handing them to Jasper. He put them up on the corkboard and waited for the marker that Alice had also taken from her bag. Next to each picture, one of every Cullen family member, he wrote their names. I saw that the picture of Edward was the one that I had taken before that night and after Edward left I could no longer find it.

"Sorry Alice, as I'm sure you've figured out I forget a lot of stuff these days." I tapped the side of my head . She nodded and gave me a smile, putting me back at ease. I wondered how much Alice knew. From what she had told me so far she had a vision of me and that was why she was here before the rest of her family. I thought about all the times I had thought I had seen the two of them, and the time that I thought I saw Edward. Now that Alice was standing next to me I was sure each time I had seen glances of them, they had truly been there.

"Thank you, dad for calling them. I'm just so happy they are here. I missed them so much. What did Dr. Cullen say?" I was going to ask Alice for details but I also needed to know what was said between Dr. Cullen and my father.

His mustache twitched, "He said he was more than happy to come up and take a look at your file but he wasn't sure how much help he was going to be. He knows Dr. Benson and says it shouldn't be a problem for him to receive temporary privileges if needed. They, Dr. Cullen and Esme should be here tomorrow. I'm sure Alice told you that she and Jasper were already in Forks. "

"I told her Charlie. Bella, we've been deciding on what to do with the house here. None of us want to sell it though. I think we might rent it out for weddings and parties. Actually we better get going; I have to get things situated at the house now that the whole family will be here. You should see all the dust that has collected there. If it's okay Charlie, I can stay with Bella tonight. Bella told me how you two have hardly been sleeping. I promise to take good care of her." She smiled at both of them and after some hesitation my father agreed. No one was a match for Alice's charm.

"Great I'll be back in a few hours. Good bye Bella." She sang to me as Jasper said his goodbyes as well, avoiding contact with my mom. I watched them leave, for a moment I was terrified that they were not going to come back. I knew it was ridiculous but the panic welled inside my chest.

"Thank you for calling them. " I whispered. Neither one of them said anything but Renee reached into a bag that I had not noticed before, pulling out a takeout box from Bella Italia. I could smell the cream sauce. Edward had taken me to Bella Italia the night I had told him that I knew what he was. I dug in, for the first time in days I realized I was hungry. Renee set a can of Coke on the table and I mouthed a thank you. I wanted to savor each bite of ravioli but I was too starved.

I chewed and swallowed for the next few minutes, both my parents watched me with awe. I finally slowed down and grabbed the can of Coke, snapping it open and taking a drink.

"Wow, that tasted amazing, thanks for bringing me dinner." I gushed. Alice and Jasper changed my whole outlook; I was happier then I had been in days and I was also more determined to go through with my plan.

'It's just good to see you eating again dear. "Renee replied. I finished the soda and watched an old Western movie that was on TV until Alice opened the door and twirled into the room. Yes, I said twirled. I saw Charlie try to hide a smile and even Renee was grinning. Alice's enthusiasm was hard to ignore. She might be tiny but her presence took up the whole room.

After numerous hugs and kisses from Renee and a warning from Charlie that I was to call him if anything, no matter how small changed I was alone with Alice. She hopped onto the bed next to me, her cool leg touching mine and started telling me about all the times she had watched me over the last 11 days, she told me about the times that Jasper came to the house or to the hospital, he had been trying to help take away some of the fear and pain we all felt.

I remembered all the times when I would wake up for a fraction of a second and how it sometimes felt as if I was being lulled back to sleep against my will. The calm would take over for a little and I would no longer be scared or hurting. It had been Jasper. I know what a sacrifice it would have been for him to do that for my family.

"Why was Renee staring at Jasper earlier?"

She laughed, scrunching up her nose. "Renee woke up and one night while Jasper was here and thought she was dreaming. Apparently she thought he was hot." I grimaced at the thought of Renee finding anyone "hot". "Anyway when we came earlier she freaked out, she started to mumble about some dreams that she had been having. It was very awkward. "Alice laughed again and I joined in.

I suddenly felt Alice shift beside me and then stiffen. She stopped laughing and I wondered what was going on when I heard someone yell something unintelligible and then a large figure barreled through the door, almost taking it off its hinges. Huge arms wrapped around my waist and a familiar, loud voice filled the room, "Bella!"

"Emmett." I cried out, before gasping for breath. In his excitement he had squeezed me harder then he should have.

"We leave you alone for a short time and look at all the trouble you get yourself into." He released me and looked around the room, as if he was waiting for, or looking for someone. I was about to retort back, on how wrong his statement was but I saw him look over to the doorway. Holding onto the frame of the doorway was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. His hair in complete disarray, red, brown and all shades in-between ran through the messy locks.

He took a step forward, coming fully into the small room. My mouth went dry and my heart pounded in my chest. I thought it would burst out of my chest at any moment. It was as if the past 11 months had never happened. I immediately forgave him for everything that had happened.

"Edward." I was pretty sure I had said his name out loud but he didn't say anything back to me in return. He came closer and Alice moved off the bed, they had one of their silent conversations, I held still.

"Isabella." He murmured. His voice reminded me of velvet; I wanted to feel it all over my skin. His next words shocked me.

"Isabella? Love, are you sure you want to be a vampire?

I heard a machine beep, probably because of my racing heartbeat. I hoped the nurse wouldn't come in. My teeth bit down on my lower lip and I let out a gush of air.

"How do…. How did you know?" I stuttered out. My eyes drank him in, he looked the same as the last time I had seen him, not that I had expected him to change, and he was a vampire after all. He was even closer still, I could smell his sweet breathe, it reminded me of honeysuckle. I sucked in a breath.

I waited for him to answer, to say anything really but the door to the room flew open and a nurse with pink hair stepped in, pushing past Edward. Anger flashed in his eyes and I heard a low growl. The nurse ignored him, turning all her attention to me. I felt like I should know who she was but I just couldn't remember. She was asking me something and I heard machines beep but everything seemed so far away. Alice and Edward were closest to me. I think they were arguing but there was so much going on that I couldn't be sure.

"Move out of my way asshole" the nurse screamed at someone. I heard a loud crack, as if someone had slammed into a wall. I would have to mention this nurse to Jackie. She was the only nurse that I had ever head say a curse word in a patient's presence. I felt myself being moved and then I was very tired. I didn't have time to think about what was happening before everything went black.

**Thanks for reading. This was my longest chapter ever. I know you all probably did not want it to end this way but it had to be done so that the next chapters can really get good. I promise in the next chapter all the Cullen's will be there. I also promise that Bella did not die. Review please. Let me know if there is something specific that you wanted to see happen. Oh, I now have Twitter so I will be posting teasers and such. You can follow me here /#!/twistedblueeyes. Thanks. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Chapter 5**

**Bella**

I opened my eyes, I could hear Charlie and Renee talking to Alice but I could not see them. They were closer to the bathroom then to the hospital bed I was in. If Alice was here did that mean Edward was also here again? I chanced a glance around the room not seeing him.

"Good morning sweetie, do you feel alright?" My mom, having noticed that I was now awake came over to the bed. Her eyes were blood shot; I knew that after they had come back to the hospital after my panic attack she had not slept.

"Um, yeah, I'm okay-just tired." I answered still trying to figure out if Edward may still be here. She brushed some hair from my forehead that had fallen from the confines of the scarf. Charlie and Alice came over then, each saying "Good Morning" and looking at me as if I might crack or burst into flames at any moment.

I held my hands up in the air. "What? I'm fine. I'm not going to disintegrate before your eyes." I pouted. Relieved that they had not hooked me back up to the many tubes last night but I felt the anger start to bubble when all three of them started to laugh, not just the ha-ha type of laugh but the hold your belly and try not to fall onto the floor laugh. My dad's mustache twitched Renee held onto him for support.

"Were sorry Bella but…you should…have heard yourself this morning." Alice could hardly stop laughing to get the words out. I waited, wavering between wanting to know what was so funny and then not wanting to know for fear of embarrassment. I had dreams of being an official Cullen last night and I prayed I was not talking about them in my sleep. She shot me a wink and continued, "It's not very often you hear someone talking about how they can't wait to eat their first mountain lion."

My heart skipped a beat. "Yeah Bells, you went on and on about how you wanted to become a vegetarian vampire. I think that movie the other day must have gotten to you." Charlie laughed. "Then when I tried to tell you that you were dreaming you told me not to worry, when you were converted there was no way you would want my blood." All of them laughed some more while I blushed, wishing I would burst into flames. I glanced at Alice, she didn't seem mad.

I eyed the pictures on my cork board, all the people that I loved who I would no longer be able to see if my plan did not work. I knew that I would not be allowed to see them right away if I did become a vampire but at least eventually I could see them. I would be able to watch over them. Looking at Jake's picture reminded me that I needed to call him and I asked my father to write it on the board for me. Alice's smile disappeared and I wondered, from the very little I knew about the Cullen's relationship with the Quileute's if my being friends with Jacob would be an issue.

"My father will be here in 20 minutes, did you want to shower?" Alice's voice chimed in through Charlie's and Renee's laughter. I nodded at her and moved to get out of the bed. As she walked with me into the bathroom she called to my parents, telling them to go grab some breakfast. She would help me.

When I heard the click of the door I immediately apologized to Alice. "I'm so sorry Alice. I didn't say anything about your family specifically did I? Please don't be mad. You know I sleep talk. Do you forgive me? She turned the water on and then faced the wall while I used the toilet.

"Hush Bella, it's no big deal. I'm sure the nurse and your parent's attributed it to the stress of everything and the tumor. Edward even laughed about it." My heart thumped when she said his name.

"Is he here?" I asked as she took the scarf off my head and helped me get out of my clothes. I blushed but having Alice helping me was better than a nurse or even my mother.

"Yes, he's with Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Jackie didn't take a liking to him, as you know, so he's steering clear until she's off. I think they are at the cafeteria at the moment." I smiled, remembering that after I woke up after passing out from the panic attack, Emmett was all too happy to tell me that Jackie had put Edward in his place when he tried to interfere with my care. If he had tried to interfere then that must mean he still has feelings for me. He had been trying to do what he thought was best.

"Do you need me to help you wash your body or can you do that?"

"No, I can do it, thanks." I stepped into the shower and opened the freesia body wash and scrubbed my body.

"Anyway, I know he's going mad not being able to come up and see you." I covered my mouth with my hand, squashing the squeal that was trying to escape. "Oh, I also did a little bit of shopping for you before we came back to the hospital yesterday; I never got a chance to tell you." I rolled my eyes and stuck my head out of the shower.

"Okay, but I'm not wearing heels or a skirt! I'm done if you could hand me the towel." She did and I dried myself off, hiding behind the thin shower curtain. I was tired already, bending over to dry my legs I wobbled but Alice caught me and took the towel drying my legs for me. I hated having to depend on someone else to do something that I considered intimate. No one had to help me shower since I was a little girl, not counting the time Alice helped me after the incident with James.

She handed me my fresh clothes. No silk, which was saying something for Alice. She helped me with the white tee shirt and I tugged the soft yoga pants over my hips. "Thanks Alice. "I mumbled.

She smiled brightly at me and picked me up, "Charlie and Renee aren't back yet and this will be easier for you." I put my arms around her neck and in just seconds I was back in the bed. "I hear Carlisle and Dr. Benson. Do you want me to stay with you?" She asked after arranging some pillows.

"Stay, if you don't mind." I reached for the water by my bed and took a sip. There was a soft knock on the door and both doctors stepped in. Even after knowing Carlisle for a while his good looks always set my heart racing. Not in the same way that Edwards looks did but just in that "Oh my God, I never knew someone could look this damn good" way. He was tall and had the signature Cullen skin, pale but not in a sickly way. He had light blonde hair and I remembered how everyone at Forks Community Hospital had fawned over him.

"Good morning Bella. It's nice to see you again after all this time. I just wish it was under better circumstances." He flashed me a dazzling smile and lifted my chart up in the air.

"Hello Dr. Cullen. I wish it was for different reasons too but life's not fair sometimes." I smiled weakly back at him and turned to Dr. Benson. "Dr. Benson sorry about the madhouse here last night." I did feel bad, the whole room was like a zoo and I know my parents' were pushed towards the limit and had taken it out on the nice doctor.

Carlisle checked my vitals, and I wondered what he was thinking. He was entirely focused on what was in the charts and matching them with my currant vitals. Besides the concentration I couldn't read anything else on his perfect face. Alice was sitting still in a chair watching us.

"It's okay Isabella. I'm just happy to be able to report that it was just a panic attack. Well, if you're okay I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of Dr. Cullen. I'll be sure to check on you later."

Carlisle's calm, and smooth voice answered before I could. "Thank you, if you could let the nurse know not to let the Mr. Swan and Mrs. Dwyer in here right away. I want a chance to talk to Bella in private. "Dr. Benson nodded and walked out of the room.

"Bella, I won't lie to you, as you know you don't have a lot of time left, I would not be surprised if the next two weeks were all that was left. Even without Alice and Jasper interfering, your hallucinations have become more frequent, the tumor is growing at an alarming rate from what I have seen on the previous MRI's." He paused for a moment, listening to something I could not hear.

"Alice, you seem to have a way with Charlie, perhaps you could go speak to him while I finish talking to Bella?" She sprang from the seat, her melodic voice calling for my parents as she shut the door. They were probably pissed that they could not come in. I shifted so that my legs hung off the side of the bed and I was sitting straight up on my own.

I was bestowed another smile before Carlisle continued. "The Aphasia is also becoming more frequent. I don't know a lot about your tumor itself but I do the pain that accompanies it. Alice told me what she saw in some of her visions. I won't beat around the proverbia**l** bush. If that is what you truly want, my family is willing to provide it for you but you must understand some things." He looked up at me. I nodded. I couldn't speak, my mouth was too dry.

"It will be extremely painful Bella, beyond your worst nightmares. That burning that you felt when James bit you? It will feel nothing like this, that burning stopped and only reached part of your body. This will be all over and continuous for at least 2 days, maybe more. Afterwards the thirst will feel overwhelming and it too will be painful, even with feeding on animal blood. As a Newborn it will be a long time before you can see your family and friends. Seeing any humans actually without being surrounded by protection, would be irresponsible at best, catastrophic at worse."

I interrupted him, I knew all this. I was ready. "I know, I still want it."

"Well, I feel it best if we tell your father and Renee as soon as possible. "

"Wait, you want to tell them, no I don't want them to know. Can't you just tell them you found a clinical trial but it's in Bum Fucked Egypt?" I was whining but how could he expect me to tell Charlie something like this?

Carlisle laughed, "No I'm not going to tell them my family has plans on turning you into a vampire but I also won't tell him there is a trial. Don't worry Bella. Alice tells me that this will work."

I was about to ask him what he would be telling them when Alice popped her head into the room, along with Charlie and Renee. I took a deep breath-trying to prevent another panic attack.

"You have to trust us, Bella." Alice whispered, too low for anyone but me and of course Carlisle to hear it.

"Mrs. Dwyer, Chief Swan, it's nice to see you."

Charlie took a moment before returning the greeting. He looked like he was ready to say something more but Carlisle rushed ahead.

"I spoke with Bella and I think there is a course of treatment that may be beneficial to her. However, it can be very dangerous and it would mean that Bella has to leave tomorrow at the earliest. You would not be allowed to see her until she is healed, if she is ever healed."

"No!" Charlie hissed. "Why wouldn't we be able to see her? You said if she is ever healed, you can't expect us to let our daughter die alone. "I wished Jasper were here, even I could sense the shift in the room. My dad was about to blow.

"Your son," he spat out, "left my daughter in the woods, breaking her heart. It took weeks to get her to go back to school, to even get out of the house. She was like a zombie. Now you waltz back in here and expect us just to hand her over to you. After your son's presence caused her to have a fucking panic attack? Who do you people think you are?

My father's face was red and his eyes seemed to change colors-black- I couldn't remember a time when he let me see him this angry. Sure I had seen him pissed but this was something different all together. Pain and anger mixed into the room. Where was Jasper when you really needed him, I thought to myself again. Everyone was quite now; Renee was crying softly, Carlisle and Alice were the exact opposite of my parents. Their faces were cool and calm.

"Chief Swan, I can't get into all the details because of privacy issues but I can assure you that this is Bella's only chance. "

"Dad, mom, I want to do it. I have to try to do it. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. I don't need your permission you know? I am over the age of 18." Those words were almost identical to the words I had spoken to them when I said I wanted Dr. Cullen to come here. I knew that this part would be hard but it was more exhausting then I had thought. Since I was no longer tied with tubes to the hospital bed I wasn't able to hit the morphine drip for the headache that was coming.

I hit the call nurse button instead, I guess I could ask Carlisle but he and Alice seemed to be in private conversation. Same with Renee and Charlie, I wished I knew what they were thinking. Maybe Edward knew…

"Hey Bella, I'll be there in 2 minutes" Jackie's voice came over the speaker.

"Are you okay?" All four asked me at once.

"I'm fine; I just need some painkillers for the headache." I reassured them.

"This treatment, where is it at?" Renee asked.

"Alaska. I know my son may have not made the best of choices but don't let that stop you from helping Bella. I have had success with this numerous times in the past. I truly believe this is the best option for her. "

"Hey Bella, what can I get for you?" Jackie burst through the door, pink hair bobbing as she took everyone in the room in. "Do I have to go ninja on anyone again?" She was laughing but I also knew her well enough by now to know she wasn't kidding.

"Um, I have a headache and also wanted something to drink."

"Oh sure, Coke or water?"

"Coke." I answered. She left the room after doing a double take of Carlisle.

No one said a word while we waited for Jackie to return. When she did she handed me the pills and the can of coke. The top opened with a shish and I took a drink before swallowing the pills. I thanked Jackie as she left the room again before taking another drink of the pop. I tried to set the can on the table right by my bed. I missed, by about a foot and the can hit the ground, sending brown liquid all over the floor and Carlisle.

"God, I'm so sorry. " I exclaimed throwing my hands over my head. I was completely embarrassed. Alice had a towel in her hand and was cleaning the spilled soda from the floor while Carlisle dabbed at his slacks with a wet tissue.

"Charlie, I don't see how we have any choice. " Renee said, looking at me then to the can of coke still on the floor. "If Bella really wants to do this I don't see how we can stop her, and it might just save her life."

"This family broke her less than a year ago and now you want to trust him, to save her?" He argued back.

"I know we all, not just Edward hurt Bella. But we had to. There are things that you do not know. Things that will become clearer once Bella heals. We can't tell you now; you have to trust that when the time is right you will know." Alice spoke up, having finished cleaning the mess on the floor.

"What like you're magically going to make her live forever, did you fill her head with empty promises? Tell her she can be like a vampire?" His voice dripped with sarcasm but his words were so close to the truth that my breathing hitched.

Alice and Carlisle exchanged a look before he responded. I waited to hear what he would say. Surely he wouldn't tell my parents that he and his beautiful family were vampires and that I would soon become one.

**Okay, I wanted to add a lot more to this chapter but decided to make this one short and the next one long. I thought this chapter would have been completed yesterday but my boys have had the flu and I have been working almost every night this past week. Thank you for reading and for those that have put my on their favorite list and alerts. I expect to have Chapter 6 up Thursday or Friday. It's going to be huge and finally Edward will be more involved. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Also, sorry in advance to any Jacob Black lovers. **

Chapter 6

Bella

"Chief Swan, I know all of this has been extremely hard on your family. Let me help in any way that I might be able to. This is of course Bella's choice to make but I know how much your support means to her. "

Oh thank God. No mention of what I was planning or about what the Cullen's really liked to eat for dinner. I decided to forge ahead, no matter what the cost may be to my parents at the moment. They would eventually forgive me.

"I'm leaving with the Cullen's tomorrow. I want to go ahead with the treatment plan that he found. I know that you must be hurting right now but it's my only option. I can still call you and soon, if it works I can see you again. Please don't ask any more questions. For once let me be the adult, trust me." I was pleading to them, my parents, who had shown me an incredible amount of love. In return I was tearing them into pieces.

"Alice and Dr. Cullen, can you give us some time alone. I'll be ready to go tomorrow morning. Will you come here to pick me up?" Alice bounced on the balls of her feet and answered for Carlisle.

"We will be here at 7 am. We have to leave by 7:30. Call if you need anything before then. Chief, Renee I promise Bella will be in the best of care." She came over and kissed my cheek. "Goodbye." She turned on her heels and swiftly walked out of the room. After Carlisle's rebuffed attempt to shake my father's hand he departed too. The three of us were alone now and I had no idea what to say. I could tell they both had more questions, who wouldn't, but they were respecting my request that they not ask them out loud.

"Guys, come on don't look so glum, in the end this will be a good thing. " I said, hoping to get them to focus on the fact that there was a lot to do in less than 24 hours. "How about we get lunch? Maybe order in Chinese food?"

"Sure Bells, whatever you want. If you want to order it then I'll go pick it up." My dad said as he picked at imaginary lint on the jeans he was wearing. I thought about what I wanted and turned to Renee, "Mom what do you want? They make an awesome Moo Shu Pork."

"Oh let's just order a little bit of everything, make it a Swan Feast." She said, trying to force the enthusiasm into her voice.

I picked up my phone and dialed, ordering as Renee had suggested, a little bit of everything. I mouthed the total to my dad and he gave me a kiss on the head before leaving. As soon as he left Renee jumped up, "I think I better go with him, you know, today's been a weird day." She ran out after him before I could respond. I hit my head against a pillow. Our last hours together and both had ditched me. Now what was I going to do. Now that everything was set I was beginning to freak out a little bit. I knew that this was what I wanted but I guess I didn't expect it to happen so fast, or to seem so casual. I wondered what the Cullen's were doing. I puffed out the air I had been holding in my cheeks, Carlisle had said that the "trial" was in Alaska, would I not be at their house? Did they think Alaska would be safer for me? I needed something to focus on till my parents got back. I could call Jake, I needed to call him but I wasn't sure what to tell him. I picked my phone back up and hit the button for his number. He picked up after 3 rings.

"Bella!" his excited voice boomed over the phone.

"Yeah, hey Jake, how are you?"

"I'm good but I'm not the one in the hospital. Do you want some visitors? I have a surprise for you." He asked. I bit my lip and thought it over.

"Sure. I have something to tell you and we just ordered massive amounts of food so come on over." He didn't answer me right away so I continued. "Don't worry Jake, I'm not any worse. In fact the next time you see me I could possibly be just like my old self."

"Okay, sure. I'll see you soon" he said, sounding very unsure.

"Bye Jake." I heard the beep singling that he had already hung up. Great, now my best friend was probably freaking out, my parents were mad and hurt and it was all my fault. I switched on the TV and flipped past the channels, hardly paying attention to what was playing. I stopped when I hit a channel with re-runs of Top Chef.

By the time they announced the winner I could smell the food from the hallway. My stomach rumbled, taken me by surprise. It had been so long since I had been truly hungry. The door opened and Charlie and Renee came in, setting bags of food on the table.

"I don't know how you expect the three of us to eat this much sweetie." Renee was taking out small packages of hot mustard and sweet and sour sauce."

"Well I called Jake and he's coming. He could probably eat all this by himself." I laughed.

Renee dished out food for me, vegetable lo Mein, spring rolls and beef and broccoli. I took it greedily taking a bite of the roll. "Mm, this is so good." I said as I took another bite. My dad reached for some orange chicken and Renee at the other half of the vegetable lo Mein. We ate in silence at first, I wasn't sure what to say and to be honest the food tasted too good to not it my full attention. By the time Jake swung the hospital room door open and ran in, stopping at my bed, I was stuffed. I could barely move.

"Jacob!" I screamed, pulling him closer to me so I could hug him. He gave me a goofy grin and his eyes swept across the empty take put containers, and then the ones still in the bag. "I told you we ordered a lot. Grab some, I know you're hungry."

"I will but I have something for you." I hadn't noticed the bag he had been carrying before but he set it in my lap. I untied the dark blue ribbon that held the bag handles together.

"You didn't have to get me anything." I exclaimed. "I just wanted to see cat."

"I know, but I know you're going to love it and-"My father interrupted him.

"I just wanted to see you."

I rolled my eyes. "Bella you still need to keep up with the exercises."

"Uh huh dad, I will." I grabbed the large glass jar from the bag and gasped. It was filled with the ocean. Tears stung my eyes as I looked in awe at the jar. Sand coated the bottom, light browns mixed with pale pebbles; emerald green water filled the jar the rest of the way. It was the best present anyone had ever given to me.

"I know how much you wanted to learn to surf-unless well, you know. Anyway I thought you could leave this in your room and always remember that day, even though you never got to surf." He jabbed my shoulder playfully and I smiled through the tears.

"Oh, it's perfect thank you. I continued to stare at the water; I knew I would be bringing it with me.

"Dad, mom can you give us a few minutes alone?" They both nodded and walked out of the room. Jake shoved a crab Rangoon into his mouth and after he swallowed, he asked me what I dreaded.

"Well, you remember the Cullen's right?" He shook his head yes, shoving more food into his mouth. "Dr. Cullen thinks that he may be able to help me. I leave tomorrow, to go to Alaska with him."

Food flew out of his mouth and he started to cough, "Wha-what the hell Bella?" He sputtered, still trying not to choke.

"Don't be upset. He can help me and it's what I want to do." His eyes turned black and I could almost swear I heard him growl, his upper lip curling to show his white teeth. My mind fucked with me-his teeth almost looked pointed, more like a dog then a human. "If it works I'll be back in Forks in no time. No worries okay, it will be fine."

"What can he do that the other doctors have not done, Bella? They're using you."

"Jake, your wrong." I answered back.

"You can't do this." He shouted, standing up. "They're dangerous; I know you know what they are. They will hurt you, or make you one of them. "His large hand gripped into my shoulders, I grimaced, he was hurting me.

"Jake stop, you're hurting me" he didn't seem to hear me. He was talking to himself about Sam and about how much danger I would be in, the treaty. None of it seemed to make sense to me.

"How could you go away with those blood suckers? Those leaches?"

Jacob, they are not leaches or blood suckers. They are my family, just like you are. Now, let me go. You're hurting me. "I cried out. He was trembling so badly that it was causing me to shake-or maybe I would have been shaking anyway. Where were my parents? I yelled at him again, mustering up more energy. "Get your fucking hands off of me" I tried to bring my knee up to his groin, like my dad had always told me to do but his muscled thigh blocked it.

"Your father will never allow it; thank God he still has some sense." Another growl erupted from him as he shook me, his fingers pressing deeper still into my flesh. I had never been scared of Jacob, until now. I didn't even realize that Edward was in the room until I felt Jacob being pulled off me and Edward lifting him into the air, I saw him fly across the room, hitting the food on the table, knocking it down next to him.

"Get out." The velvet voice I had missed so much was not there. Instead it was the voice of hate and anger.

"Get out or I will kill you." Snarls and growls made the words almost inaudible. Jacob stood to his feet and his body shook. It actually looked like he might jump out of his skin. I cried harder, my own body shaking.

My heart thumped loudly, I felt faint. "I'm offering you one more chance before I rip your throat out, dog." He said the word dog as if saying it made him dirty somehow. When Jacob made no move to leave Edward stepped forward, the muscles in his body flexing.

"This isn't the last of me, leach. I will be back. I won't let you take her" Jacob ran from the room, almost ripping the door off its hinges. I felt Edward sweep me up and then put me immediately back down on the bed. "Charlie and Renee" he whispered in my ear.

"Are you okay love?" Edward knelt in front of me, rubbing where Jacob had been pressing his weight on me. What had just happened? I had never seen Jacob like that. "It's okay; I won't let him hurt you ever again." The velvet tenor was back. I sighed into his cold shoulder and continued to sob.

"What the hell happened in here, both Renee and Charlie stared at Edward, then at the mess on the floor.

I struggled to catch my breath. I had expected Jacob to be angry that I was leaving but I was not expecting him to act like that.

"He was hurting her, look at her neck and shoulders." Edward put his right arm around my waist, pulling me to him and pointing with his free hand to my shoulders. Both of them hurt. Renee stared blankly and Charlie came over to look at me. He pursed his lips and let out something between a cry and a shriek. It was a sound I had never heard him make.

"Dad, calm down. He's gone now. I think he was just really upset that I'm leaving. "

I leaned against Edward, even in my currant state I was able to appreciate the features that made him look like a cross between James Dean and a Greek God.

"I'm okay, honest. It doesn't hurt." I lied. It really did hurt. My collarbone felt like I had rug burn on it, or an Indian burn. I huffed at the irony of that.

"Bella, I'm going to go now and give you some time with your parents. " Edward said, staring into my eyes. I didn't want him to go. It had been torture knowing he was here but I could not touch him, or talk to him. But I was too tired to argue and after he shook Charlie's out stretched hand, surprising me. He left, almost as quickly as he had come in.

"Bells are you sure you're ok?" I nodded. "I just can't believe that he did that, I'm going to call Billy-tell him what his son has been up to."

"No! Just stop. I want my last night with you two to be peaceful. I just have to pee and then let's play cards or something. "I just wanted to forget the whole thing. I waited in bed while Renee cleaned up some of the things off the floor before helping me to the bathroom. I had her help me to change into pajamas'. It was already after 4 and I was tired, but I didn't want to sleep, there was still so much that I wanted to say. We played Monopoly, ignoring the elephant in the room and when Renee won, we moved onto Scrabble, which was a joke. Between the exhaustion and the tumor I couldn't remember how to spell hardly anything.

"Did you want to go home now, spend your…um…last night in your own bed?" Renee asked me as she put the tiles away.

"I'm fine here, it's already so late and the morning will be here before we know it."

Dr. Benson came in, stepping awkwardly to the bed.

"Good evening Bella. I know it's been a rough few days but I wanted to say good bye. I won't be here in the morning. Your discharge papers are all ready to be signed. Good luck."

"Thank you, I appreciate everything that you have done and tried to do to make me better." I felt like I was betraying the doctor by leaving. He had always been so kind to me and my family.

"Yes, well. Good luck. It was a pleasure meeting you." He shook Charlie's hand and patted Renee's shoulder.

I unscrewed the cap on the water bottle and took a big drink. This felt awkward. All of us shifted around nervously. Too bad they didn't make etiquette books for this type of shit. Sleep took over before I could think about what to say anymore. I vaguely felt both Renee and Charlie give me a kiss. At one point I remember I woke up and heard them crying but the sound was so quiet I may have just been dreaming.

"Shh, don't wake her, let her sleep. Charlie, why don't you find out what you want to know from Carlisle and when Bella wakes up Alice and I can help her get a shower and get dressed." Renee's hushed voice woke me and I sat up with a start. Today was the day. My life was changing forever.

I shielded my eyes from the sun that was coming in through the window.

"It's okay mom, I'm up, but dad go do what you gotta do." He came over and squeezed my hand before him and Carlisle walked out of the room. "Hi Alice."

"Good morning Bella, we have lots to do today so let's get started" she sang. Both her and Renee helped me out of bed and into the bathroom. With their help I showered and dressed as quickly as I could. Alice had chosen a faded pair of blue jeans and an emerald green shirt, this time I also put on my old white Chucks.

My brown hair hung limply, still wet from my shower. I was surprised I still had hair left. I had always heard about people losing their hair from the chemotherapy. My hair had thinned some and was an inch or so shorter than it used to be-because I had it trimmed by the hospital beautician. I thought the shorter it was the easier it would be when it really did start to fall out. I had started to cry after the first inch and had the stylist stop.

"Did you want a scarf for your hair or did you want me to fix it for you? " Alice asked. I automatically bit my lip. Since starting Chemo I had always worn the scarf. Mainly to stop the small clumps that came out from falling all over the floor. I guess since I was no longer doing the treatments I no longer had to worry about losing my hair.

I took a breath. "No scarf." Alice grinned like I had given her the key to the golden city. She ran a comb through the wet strands, chattering away about something. I paid no attention, only catching bits and pieces. I made sure to nod and smile at the right time. Renee was watching us and I reache3d for her hand. She patted the top of mine and gave me a small smile. I rolled my eyes when Alice turned on the blow dryer. It was similar to the ones you saw in hotels, small and attached to the wall.

Hot air hit the sides of my head and Alice twisted a brush through my hair. When it was all dry she brushed her fingers through the front of it and clapped her hands together. "You look beautiful Bella."

"You always look beautiful Bella." I blushed. My father was not the type of man to dish out compliments. Like me he kept his feelings inside. He had peeked into the small bathroom and now stood in the doorway.

"Thanks dad." I was helped to a standing position and it was then that I noticed the time. 7:23 am. This was it. I wondered why my parents had not woken me up sooner. Surely they knew that I wanted to spend time with time. I thought back to how they acted last night. Maybe they were thinking of it like a band aid-the faster you peeled it off the less it was supposed to hurt. I also realized that I had been up for almost an hour but I had showered and let Alice do my hair. Now I wished I could those mundane tasks back. Exchange it for time with the parent's that I loved.

No nurses or doctors, besides Carlisle were in the room. Alice was the only other member of the Cullen family present. I spun in a slow circle; the room which had been decorated with little pieces of my life was now back to being just another hospital room. My corkboard was still up but the names and pictures were taken down. Renee caught my eye and cleared her throat.

"We put them in an album for you and put it in your bag. I also put your ocean jar and some other things in there. We love you baby and want you to call us every time you get a chance to." Tears were falling down her face and I felt my eyes grow wet as well. "Oh baby, I'm going to miss you."

I walked over and hugged her, knowing it was the last time for a long time that I would be able to do so. She wiped the tears that had fallen on my cheeks and smiled. I turned towards Charlie, not sure if I was going to hug him or not. Like I said, we did not have an overly emotional father-daughter relationship. He decided for me though as his arms wrapped around me and I was pushed towards his chest. He held me for a few minutes before letting go.

My phone beeped and I looked at the screen. Jake. I hit the silent button and shoved the cell into my pocket.

"I better go, I love you both. I'll call as soon as I can." I said it no louder than a whisper; if I spoke any louder I knew I would cry harder.

Alice rolled a wheelchair to me and when I rolled my eyes Carlisle spoke. "Hospital policy Bella." I sat down and Alice wheeled me to the door, Carlisle had my bag. My mother blew a kiss to me and my father tried to shield his eyes from my own.

We left the room and began the descent down the quite hallway. I waved to a nurse that I had seen a few times and scanned the nurses' station for Jackie. I didn't see the pink haired nurse anywhere.

"Wait! I want to leave a note for someone."

"Sure Bella." Carlisle handed me a blank piece of paper from my chart and a pen. I wrote quickly, sloppily.

Jackie,

Thank you for everything. I will miss watching movies with you and talking about your funky hair colors.

Bella

"Can you make sure Jackie gets this?" I asked the older nurse who sat in front of a computer. She nodded and told me she would. With that done we continued down the hallway. To anyone watching I would just be another patient going for tests or maybe even being discharged. I smiled to myself, this was really happening.

We stopped in front of the elevator and I risked a look back. I think I saw my parent's standing in the doorway of my room-my old room I corrected myself, but it was too far to tell for sure. The elevator door gave off a loud _bing _and the doors opened. My breath caught when I saw Edward, Emmett, Rose and Jasper inside. 

"Hey Bella." Emmett leaned down to hug me.

"Hi." I said back softly. I was surprised Rosalie was here. She and I had never really gotten along, but I also knew she loved Emmett and if he wanted to be here for me she would come for him.

While I was wheeled through the open door Jasper stepped out. He gave me a small wave and walked in the direction that we had just come. I scrunched my nose about to ask Alice where he was going but I was quickly distracted by Edward. He knelt down so he was face to face with me and then he kissed me softly on my cheek.

"I'm so sorry I let him hurt you last night. It won't happen again love." I just nodded. His breath smelled sweet, like honeysuckle and lilacs.

I was surprised when I heard everyone but Carlisle agreed with Edward. They all snarled and Rose spat out the word "dog". I knew Jacob wasn't really the best of the friends with the Cullen's and I also knew his behavior last night was way over the line but did they have to call him a dog?

When we got to the main hospital doors I remembered Jasper. "Where did Jasper go?" I was being pushed into the sunlight when Alice answered.

"He went to help Renee and Charlie. He should be back later tonight." Of course, after knowing all that Jasper had done for us lately I should have known that what was he was doing. I would need to remember to thank him when I saw him again. I was about to ask someone to put it on the board so I wouldn't forget when I remembered that I was free of the board, or at least I wouldn't need the board in a few days.

We stopped in front of a familiar shiny Volvo. Edward picked me up, the same way Alice had the first time I had talked to her when she came to the hospital and set me into the front seat. He buckled me in and for once I didn't complain about it. He shut my door and said something that I could not hear to the others before coming over to the driver's side.

"Ready to go Isabella." He asked starting the car and pulling forward.

"Yeah." I said. I leaned back against the seat. I looked at the hospital one last time, hoping that Jasper was doing ok with Renee and Charlie. My phone vibrated and I pulled it from my pocket. It was Jake again. I didn't want to talk to him but I had a feeling he would just keep calling. I turned the phone completely off. He can call but that doesn't mean I have to know about it.

"Where are we going?" I wondered aloud. Edward weaved in and out of the Port Angeles traffic.

"The house in Forks. We need to talk and then we'll go from there." He answered, looking at me.

I wished he would pay attention to the road, traffic accidents may be mundane in his eyes but they weren't in mine. "There's nothing to talk about Edward. I know what I want, your father agreed to give it to me. You're not going to change my mind." I was whining but I didn't care. I didn't need permission from him.

"I'm not going to fight you on this love, but we still need to discuss when it will happen and who will be doing it." His response gave me pause. I was expecting him to argue, and I also just assumed it would be him who would change me.

"I figured it would be you, you know. "

"I'm not sure that I can do it. Alice and Rose, along with Carlisle offered."

"Rose! Rose offered to change me?" I shouted. I was stunned.

"Yes, she did. We were all shocked." He laughed. He took the sunglasses he had been wearing off and his eyes reminded me of the last remints of a fire. There was still some amber there but there was more black than usual.

"Edward? When was the last time you hunted?"

His foot hit the gas and we shot forward-now on the highway. He was ignoring my question. I prodded again. "Your eyes are black, you need to feed."

I was going to Bella, last night. But then Jacob acted like the monster he is and I just couldn't leave the hospital. I promise I'll go tonight." His cool hand found mine and he squeezed. I reveled in the feeling. I had missed him so much. This was right. The circumstances might be wrong, but Edward and I couldn't be more right. Soon nothing else would matter. I closed my eyes and imagined us running through a field. He was no longer scared he would break me because I was just as strong as he was.

"Damn it Emmett." He said out of nowhere, kicking me out of my daydream. The Volvo sped up and I risked a look at the speedometer, feeling faint when I saw the arrow hit 105.

"What's wrong? And for fucks sake Edward. Slow down. "Edward didn't slow down though, he continued to keep a stead speed though and that was better than even going even faster. He didn't answer me and was looking ahead at the huge Jeep in front of us, Emmett's Jeep. They had been behind us the entire time, by at least 15 minutes. How had they caught up to us so fast? Dirt caked the lower half of the jeep and I wondered where they had been, wherever it was Edward was not happy about it.

"Edward, what the hell?" I shouted.

"Bella, you're asking me to bite you, to change you into something without a soul yet your scared I might kill you by driving a tad over the speed limit?"

That wasn't what I had been shouting about but I didn't say anything. I'm sure I would find out soon enough.

Due to Edwards need to be the next Steve McQueen we were in front of the large white house shortly after seeing Emmett's Jeep in front of us. Emmett jumped from the driver's seat and made his way over to us, Rose stepped down; I could hear her muttering obscenities to Emmett. No doubt her normally long and beautiful hair was now wind-blown. Alice ran over to us and opened my door. Without warning I was lifted up into her arms and in seconds I was inside the massive Cullen house.

The house was just as I had remembered it. Alice carried me over to a white couch that set in front of the glass wall. Edward and the others were right behind her. None of them looked very happy though. When Emmett got closer I noticed the white shirt and jeans he had were streaked with mud. My head started to throb and I whispered to Alice that I needed my pain pills.

"Maybe I should get Carlisle." I heard Edward say. I had forgotten that there was no point in whispering around this family.

"I'm fine, I just have a headache. I need to take my pills." I held out my hand for my bag. I knew that Carlisle had packed some for me. In case something changed in the plan. Alice grabbed the bag and then ran for a glass of water. She was back before I got the pills out of the bottle. I took two pills and chugged the water. I was incredibly thirsty.

"Thanks so what now?" I asked, looking to each of them and at the same time praying that Edward would sit next to me. At the moment he was leaning against the wall, shooting glares at Emmett. I wondered again what the deal was. Something had happened.

"Carlisle and Esme are getting some things. They should be here soon. Then we just have to hash out some details. "Edward said finally coming over to me. His fingertips ran along my jaw line and a tingling buzz went through my body. It really was as if nothing had changed.

"Okay, can we talk about some of it now?" I asked. "Who is going to change me, I mean, since Edward doesn't seem to want to."

I leaned against the back of the couch and waited for someone to answer me.

**I think this has been my longer chapter yet, 10 pages and 5,192 words. I can't wait for next chapter. It's halfway done. It should be up by Easter. Thank you again to those who have put me on alert and have reviewed. I love every single one of them. I'm putting a poll up but in case it doesn't work, review and let me know who you want to change Bella.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. I do not have a medical degree. Most of the information was from good ole' Dr. Google and a close friend that did have this same medical condition. If something is incorrect please let me know. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Chapter 7**

**Bella**

No one said anything, in fact everyone turned to look at Edward. I made a clicking sound with my tongue, hoping to imitate a clock.

Rosalie ran her fingers over her curled hair and let out a whistle. "I will." She said, looking bored. As if this was an everyday occurrence for her.

"No, I think it should be Carlisle." Edward said stroking my arm. "He's the one who's done it before; he'll be the most careful." I wished the medication would kick in, my head continued to throb. Maybe now was not the best time to discuss this.

"Don't you think I should get a say in this. It is my life that is ending you know, since I can't have who I really want I should be able to at least choose out of those who are willing." I argued.

"But, love I'm just trying to keep you safe." I pulled out of his grasp. "If you wanted to keep me safe you would have never left me." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew I had hit below the belt. Anger and regret flashed in his eyes. Alice stood up, and I wondered again where all the mud came from. Now that Alice was basically standing in front of me I could see that her clothes, which were normally pristine, had smudges of mud along the sides as well. She moved to sit on the other side of me.

"If you won't do it for me Edward then I get to pick." I stated, feeling some confidence build up when Alice shot me a wink.

"We'll talk about this later then, I better go hunt." Cold lips were on mine for just a moment and then he was out of the room, and probably the house before I could really respond, to the kiss or the words he spoke.

Rose and Emmett were cuddled in the huge white chair. "Don't let him bully you Bella. You make the choice girl." She went back to kissing Emmett and I was left confused. This was the nicest that Rose had even been to me. I wondered what changed.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I asked back, Alice was still sitting next to me.

"My visions keep changing but even if he has not made up his mind I know that Edward will be the one to change you. I feel it."

"Sure Alice" I replied, not feeling sure at all. "Hey, what happened to you guys? You and Emmett are covered in mud and so is his Jeep. I know he's not anal about it like Edward is with the Volvo but still."

She flitted around the room, pretending to adjust picture that were already hung perfectly on the walls. "Alice…tell me." I nagged

"Ah Bella we just had to take care of a potential problem. No big deal. Now can I get you something to drink? I had a groceries ordered for you."

Only Alice would think to order groceries online. I let out a laugh, picturing Alice sorting through foods that she herself either never tried or forgotten about. Sure the Cullen's could pretend to eat human food but I know it tasted horrible to them. They mainly kept a stocked kitchen before to keep up appearances.

"Please. You're my best friend. Aren't we supposed to share everything, is it about Edward?" I pried. I followed into the kitchen, walking a little slower and bracing myself against a wall. She opened the fridge and I drew in a breath. It was fully stocked, from top to bottom. I was sure the cabinets would be the same. Cans of Coke, milk, eggs, cheese and everything else available to mankind from the looks of it. I took the can of Coke she offered and listened to the shish of the carbonation as I popped the tab.

"Thanks, now tell me."

"Alright fine but you can't get mad. We know stuff that you don't and you have to trust us." She sang out, motioning for me to come closer to her.

"There's a surprise upstairs for you and then I'll tell you." She lifted me up into her arms and ran up the stairs stopping in front of Edwards's room. She kicked the door open and I marveled at the sight, forgetting about the fact that I was about to protest against the surprise. The black leather couch that had once taken up most of the room's space was now gone. In its place was the most gorgeous bed I had ever seen.

Wrought metal reached the ceilings at the beds four corners, a white canopy hung form the metal. A soft looking comforter was folded neatly beneath the numerous pillows. It was the type of bed that one would never want to leave.

"Oh Alice, it's beautiful."

"I know." She said setting me atop the fluffy blanket. I oohed and ahhed over it for a few minutes, when I laid my head back my whole body sunk into softness. "I was going to go with wood but figured the metal might last longer, when you finally use it. I'm glad you like it." She grinned wide.

"I'm not going to be transformed in this bed-am I?" I asked. I had it in my head that it would be down in the basement. "I don't want to ruin this." I chewed on my bottom lip.

"No, silly this is for afterwards, when you and Edward…" she trailed off, still grinning. I chewed harder until I tasted copper, ignoring the fact that I was in a house with vampires. Edward and I. We would finally be able to have sex, unless he had changed his mind completely about me. Maybe he wouldn't want me like that. God, I had often dreamt about him but we had never gone any further then kissing. He was too scared to hurt me. Would it still hurt when I was one of them I wondered.

I sat up, feeling my body heat up, not only from my blush but from the thought of Edward. I knew how he made me feel with just a look or a kiss. I would most likely explode into a million pieces if he actually touched me anywhere new.

I took a drink of the cold soda and looked up at Alice. I could always ask her. I doubt she would be embarrassed. "Bella, are you ok?"

"Uh yeah. Just tired." I shook my head, clearing out all thoughts of feeling Edward against me.

"So how did you get mud all over you?" I shot out, still wanting to shake my mind free of images that only made me blush even harder.

"We met with Sam Uley and Jacob Black. There might have been a small scuffle." I knew my eyes widened at that and she quickly added, "But no one got hurt." Alice sat down beside me. "Like I said before, you have to trust us and Jacob is one of the bad guys."

"Jacob is not a vampire." I said dryly.

"I know, but he's, well, really Rose was correct when she called him a dog." She mused, touching her nose as if she was thinking of something else to say.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. At first I had wanted to defend Jacob but then I remembered last night. I still didn't get the dog reference though.

"Okay. Well, just be careful and remember that Billy and my dad are really close friends." She didn't respond and instead was looking out the large window.

"What did Edward do when you all were in Alaska?" I had been trying to find a way to word that into our conversations since I first saw her. I thought now was as good a time as any.

She made a clicking sound with her tongue before answering. "He just traveled. He didn't want to be with us, he wanted to go back to you but his stubborn self-kept insisting that he was bad for you. You know the story, Bella. When I came back to Forks with Jasper we found out that he was heading home from Denali."

I let myself absorb the information. I had heard briefly about the three sisters that lived in Denali. They were the only other coven that ate a vegetarian diet like the Cullen's. My tongue ran over my teeth. Why would Edward go there?

As if Alice could read my mind she spoke again. "He didn't stay there the whole time. I think it was only a few weeks."

I was exhausted and closed my eyes for just a minute. I needed to regroup. I woke up when I felt something beside me; Edward. I smiled, still sleepy before rolling over to face him.

"Hi."

"Hi" I said back, feeling like an idiot. Who says hi right back?

"How long have you been back?"

"Two hours."

I covered my mouth with my hands. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I had just wanted to rest my eyes for a minute. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was so tired."

"Don't be sorry Love; you've had a long day. I like to watch you sleep anyway." His fingers stroked my cheek and heat spread throughout my body. I was remembering what I had been thinking about before I fell asleep, and what I had dreamt about.

"Is Carlisle back? I can't wait to see Esme." His lips were inches away from mine and I wanted him to kiss me. Instead he answered my earlier question.

"Yes, she's excited to see you too. We better get downstairs anyway, figure out what needs to be done." He gently lifted me into his arms and took me downstairs, into the kitchen.

"Bella, it's so good to see you. " Esme's face lit up and her eyes widened. I was used to the eye widening. Losing 15 pounds in just weeks apparently shocked quite a few people, vampires not excluded.

"Hi, Esme." I gave her a hug after Edward put me down.

All the Cullen's were situated around the island. I noticed that Emmett and Alice were in fresh clothes. Rose snickered when I walked past her. Apparently some things really never did change. I ignored her and sat on a stool, resting my elbows on the island.

"It's about freakin time. We thought Edward might be making your dreams finally come true." Emmett slapped his thigh and laughed at his own statement. I was blushing, though I wasn't sure why. After all the Cullen's seemed to have accepted the fact that I wanted to be like them. I saw Edward shoot him a glare, and motion for him to cut it out.

Rose snickered again and I looked at her this time. I heard a noise come from Jasper's vicinity and I frowned. Edward bent to my ear, "Vampire hearing Bella. You still talk in your sleep."

I had never been so mortified. I slammed my head down onto the island, wishing I would just melt into the blue tiles. I knew what I had dreamt of and now the whole house did too.

"It's ok Bella, payback for all the times we've had to listen to Rose and Emmett or Alice and Jasper." He hugged me close but I refused to lift my head.

Emmett was laughing loudly, and saying things that I couldn't hear but made Rose and Jasper laugh. I even saw Carlisle crack a smile.

"Ugh" I groaned. The last thing I needed was Emmett knowing this stuff, the others were bad enough but I knew for him, this was just the tip of the iceberg.

Carlisle cleared his throat after a few minutes had passed. "Maybe it would be helpful if Esme, Alice and Rose had a talk with Bella later tonight-alone. "

"No!" I blurted out. "Getting the sex talk from Charlie was bad enough." I put my head back down.

"Yes well the vampire sex talk and the human sex talk are quite different Bella. You should have a heads up about something's before your change." Rosalie said. This made me lift my head once again, but I avoided looking at anyone but Rose.

"Um, right. Sure." I mumbled.

"I think our first priority should be deciding how and by whom Bella will be changed. " Edward spoke to Carlisle but everyone stopped joking around and paid attention. I gripped onto Edward, I was still holding out hope that he would change me.

"I offered but Mr. Over Protective there seems to think I won't be able to stop." Rose said, glaring at Edward.

"I can do it. I don't mind and I'm almost sure that I will be able to stop." Alice quipped. Of course the Pixie would have to add in the last bit about probably being able to stop.

The decision was on my shoulders, as it should be. Honestly Alice would be my choice after Edward. I held my breath; it was time to make a choice. I let out a whoosh of air and twirled my hair with my fingers.

"If Edward won't do it then I want Alice to be the one." Alice jumped up and down, as if she was 5 years old and it was Christmas morning. She danced around us with her hands in the air. I giggled at how excited she was.

"Great, like I said I'm pretty sure that I can do it and be able to stop myself if Carlisle is there for support." She gave Edward a pointed look. He ran his hands through the multi-colored mess on top of his head.

"Alice you have to be sure. This is Bella we are talking about." He said returning her look.

"Well, nothing is a guarantee, even if Carlisle did it there would still be a chance that he would not be able to stop Edward. Once I get a taste of her blood I may just want to finish her off." Her voice chimed around the room and I gasped. I was rethinking my choice already but then she winked at me and smiled and I knew then what she was doing. She was goading Edward.

"Edward, I either want you or Alice. If one of you can't stop once you get started then that's okay. I'll forgive you. I know the risks." I spoke softly, holding his hand tighter.

"Love, there won't be any risks, I'll do it." His words sent my heart racing. That didn't take much at all to change his mind. Now he seemed sure of himself. Alice grinned like a cat that ate the canary and even the other Cullen's were smiling.

"You will? It won't be too much for you?"

"It probably will be too much for me but I from what Alice showed me it can be done, and like she said, with support around me I should be able to do it.

I reached to put his arms around his neck. "Thank you." I whispered, I kissed him quickly and then asked when it would happen. I didn't want Edward backing out now.

"I think the sooner we do it the better. Tonight in fact." Carlisle said, Alice nodded in agreement and Jasper smiled.

"Okay, well um, do I need to do anything before it uh, happens?"

"No, but I think it will be wise if all of us go hunting, even those of us who just went earlier today. Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Esme can go now. I'll work on getting things set up and when they get back, Edward, Alice and I can go hunting."

My heart continued to race. Please don't pass out I pleaded with myself. My mouth was very dry and to say I wasn't nervous would be a lie.

Emmett and Rose jumped from the table and were out the door in record time. Jasper and Esme both gave me a hug before running to catch up to them. I loved Esme like she was my own mother; she was always warm and inviting. Even though I knew that there was no actual relation to any of the Cullen's I could always picture Edwards's mother looking just like Esme.

"Like I told you yesterday, the process will take about 3 days. You will be in intense pain. I am planning on trying to give you morphine but I doubt that will help much. I think it will be best if Edward makes strategic bite marks so that the venom has to travel less to do its job. From my studies I believe that the inside of your wrists, your neck and a bite right above your heart will be sufficient. We will be with you the entire process. "

He stopped talking and waited for me. This was my last chance to back out.

"Okay, let's get started then, should I shower?" It was such a stupid question but for some reason it weighed heavily on my mind.

"Only if you want to Love" Edward's velvet voice calmed me and I leaned into him. The smell of him was something I knew I would never get used to. It was intoxicating and warm. Would that change? I nodded against his hard chest.

"I'll help you Bella. Then we can talk. "Alice dashed up stairs, no doubt to turn on the water. I looked at Edward; his eyes were clouded, like he was thinking about something, hard. I hoped he wasn't mad at me.

"Whats wrong?" I asked, pressing harder against him. He passed a look to Carlisle who left the kitchen, muttering about proper morphine doses and venom.

I was quickly turned so that I was sitting in Edwards lap, his nose was touching mine. My breathing hitched as he leaned down to my neck. He left hot wet trails up my neck and then across my jawline, stopping at my lips. His strong hands gripped my hips, trying to pull me closer but I was already as flush against him as I could be. His soft lips were over mine now and I bit back a moan. His hands traveled from my hips and moved underneath my shirt, soft fingertips ran along my sides and I shivered.

I was right; I did feel as if I might explode at any second. My hands fisted in his hair as he moved his mouth back down to my neck, when he pulled away suddenly. He was now standing across the kitchen and I looked away from him, embarrassed. I smoothed my shirt back down and bit my lip.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I almost lost control"

I started to nod, I was used to this. Like before he left, Edward was always worried that if we pushed too far he would lose the control that he had been maintain. Granted it was farther then we had gone before. Alice stormed through the kitchen to my side before I could finish my nod or think of something to reassure him.

"For fucks sake Edward, stop pulling the girl in nine separate directions. Come on Bella, the waters ready." She walked over to me and as we went up the stairs I heard a crash, broken glass hitting the floor, or maybe a wall.

The tub was almost full. I could see the steam floating across the top of the water. I pulled my shirt over my head, avoiding the mirror. I didn't need to look; I knew the weight loss showed the most across my ribs and the rest of my upper body.

Alice helped me with my jeans and panties. I unhooked the bra and set it on the counter. She helped me step into the hot water. I let my feet become comfortable with the temperature before dipping the rest of my body into the water.

I leaned lower into the water. I felt better already. My headache was gone.

"He really does love you. He just is very old fashioned and after these months apart, I think he's confused." Alice began.

"I know."

"Did you want to wait for Esme and Rosalie for the big talk?" She asked me as I skimmed my hands across the water. I should have known my prayers would go unanswered. I was hoping it would be forgotten or a subject that they wouldn't push.

"I don't want to discuss it with anyone Alice. Please." I begged her.

"Well, you don't have to say anything but I do need to tell you some things."

I groaned and stared at the water. This would not turn out well.

"When you wake up, you will want two things. Blood and sex."

I expected the blood part but I was shocked that I would want sex just as bad. Hell, I wanted sex now but I had a feeling that Alice meant I would be craving it, thirsting for it like I would be thirsting for human blood. I busied myself with the loofah and washed my arms, just for something to do, I felt like an idiot sitting in a tub talking about vampire sex.

"I'm serious Bella. The need for it will be overwhelming, just like your thirst. Vampire sex is completely different then human sex. I know you are still a virgin. I'm not sure if it will hurt you the first time. My first time as a vampire did not hurt but since I can't remember my human life I'm not so sure that I was a virgin. "

"Right, okay Alice. I get it, blood and sex. That's all I will want. Can we hurry this up?"

"Fine Bella, but promise you will come to me or Esme-even Rose if you have a question."

I nodded and finished my bath. Alice washed my hair for me and I was happy that the topic had turned into the crazy things she saw in around Forks and Port Angeles while she was there instead of the sex that I would apparently be begging for in just a few days.

I heard the front door slam and knew that the others were done eating. Edward and I were on the couch and Alice was shopping-online. I guess I needed special vampire clothes. I had just rolled my eyes because no matter how much I argued I knew I would lose. Carlisle was still in the basement, working on everything for tonight.

"We won't be gone long." Edward said. He kissed me chastely and my body wanted more but he was gone from my sight too soon for me to kiss him back. Alice hopped up and walked towards the door, waving at me over her shoulder.

"Don't get her hair wet Emmett." She hollered. At least I think that was what she said. It made no sense though.

"Lil sis, are you ready?" Emmett's voice exploded around the room.

"As ready as I'll ever be" I said.

"Good, good, I just wanted you to know that we are all here for you, even Rosie." He said, pointing at his wife. "And when you and Edward finally get down and dirty I promise to not say a word about it…maybe. Aw who am I kidding, there's no way I could let that shit slide. It's too good. "

I did the only thing I could think. I grabbed one of the large throw pillows and chucked it across the couch. I was surprised when it actually hit him. Square in the face, Esme and Jasper laughed. Rosalie smiled and winked at me. Emmett just sat there and I scrambled to move. He was planning something. I was hung over his shoulder before I could blink and he was running throughout the house. I didn't' know what he was doing until I saw the pool.

"No, Emmett, don't. Please I'm sorry." I giggled. We were at the edge of the pool now and I held my nose with my hand-just in case. I could swim but I didn't much care for the water. "Emmett, don't you dare." I shrieked.

It was too late; he jumped, holding me over the top of his head. I was held high enough that I didn't actually get wet except for a spots on my jeans from his splashing. He turned in a circle and I was able to see the Jasper, Esme and Rose standing around the pool.

Jasper jumped in to the other end of the pool, his blonde hair sticking to his head. I couldn't believe both he and Emmett were in the pool with all their clothes on Alice was going to be pissed. And then the light bulb went off in my head. That's what she meant when she yelled at Emmett.

Emmett and Jasper were talking, too fast for me to understand it though. I heard Esme laughing and Jasper backed farther away and then I was flying through the air. What the hell. I cringed and waited for my body to hit the water but instead I hit the hard body of Jasper, and he was laughing.

"My turn." I turned my head towards Rose's voice. She had changed into a stunning swimsuit. Without a word I was tossed into the air again, caught by Rose. The fuckers were playing catch, using me as a fucking ball. All they needed was a net and they could officially play Volleyball. I wanted to be mad but to be honest it was fun. It was weird, very weird but fun. The next half hour flew by-literally, as I was tossed between the three of them. I laughed with them. It reminded me of the time that I played chicken with the kids from my block in Phoenix.

They never dropped me and when I told Rosalie that I was tired she carried me out of the pool and into the large living room. She went to change and I played with the hem of my shirt. Carlisle, Alice and Edward walked in after a few minutes.

"Are you feeling okay Bella? Does anything hurt or maybe just feel weird?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm just tired; being a human volleyball would wear anybody down."

"I suppose that's true." He laughed.

Edward walked over to me and I curled against him. "Excuse me Bella, but did you just say you were a human volleyball?" He asked, glaring at Emmett and then at Jasper when he came into the room.

"Don't be mad Edward. It was fun." I said. It was true. I really did have fun.

He just continued to glare at the parties involved.

"Aw come on grouch, she had fun, she didn't get hurt and I never even got her wet, I'm saving that for you." Emmett defended himself from his spot on the other side of the room. Probably scared Edward was going to come after him. I blushed, as was my nature at his comment and waited to see just how angry Edward was going to be.

"She's dying and you all just think it was okay to throw her around?" his voice dripped with menace and he pulled away from me. Alice stood in front of him, her hands on her hips.

"If she was going to get hurt I never would have let it happen Edward. "

"You saw this Alice and you didn't think about all the ways that it could go horribly wrong?"

"Ooh just shut it. We have a long night ahead of us and whats done is done. Bella was never in any danger. "She actually looked a little hurt that her brother was suggesting she would let me purposely be in danger.

She stalked towards the other side of the room, her fists clenching. Edward should know that doubting Alice was the one way to cross her.

With all the Cullen's gathered together I ignored the glares that Edward was shooting to his siblings and even his mother as I took a deep breath and then let it out.

"I'm ready. Can we do it now" I tried to make my voice firm, but the request came out shaky.

"Yes, we are all set up in the basement." Carlisle said. "I think now is as good as time as any." Everyone moved at once to towards the basement. Emmett took off at a manic speed but the others walked at my pace.

Edward was about to pick me up when Esme tapped on his shoulder. "Please let me. "

She picked me up gently and stepped downstairs. When she took the last step instead of setting me down she held me tighter. The others cleared away from us and Esme spoke to me, like the mother she had always wanted to be. The mother that she was to Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rose regardless of blood relation.

""Isabella, I am sorry that you have to enter our family this way, without much of a choice. "I opened my mouth to argue but she shushed me. "I know that this is your choice but you can't deny that it's not the best of circumstances. I want you to know that since the day Edward informed us of you, like most of my family I knew I would love you. Because my son loved you. I know you'll do just fine dear. We are all here for you." Tears stung my eyes and I shut them. Esme was the most caring person that I had ever known. I was shifted delicately into Edwards's arms and laid down on a double size bed.

It was quiet; I actually wanted Emmett to make an inappropriate joke, just so there would be noise. Carlisle was off to the side of the bed, filling a large syringe and Edward stroked my cheek.

"Okay, Bella. I'm going to give you morphine before Edward bit-begins. I'm hoping that will help with the pain you will feel."

I nodded, too nervous to say anything. I felt the needle jab my skin, puncturing the jeans I wore and muscle. I winced as I felt the morphine burn through. I took a breath and then released it. This was really happening. In roughly 3 days I was going to be a vampire.

I suddenly felt selfish. Maybe I should have just died from the tumor, at least then I could have spent my last days with Charlie and Renee. The faces of my friends flashed through my mind as the morphine did its job.

Angela, Ben, Eric even Jessica and Lauren, Mr. Banner and Mrs. Cope, then lastly Jake.

I closed my eyes and tried to breathe calmly, instead of the stuttering breaths I had been taking for the last few minutes. I don't know how long I had my eyes closed. I didn't think it was that long. I vaguely felt someone kiss my lips and then my neck, I wanted to savor the feeling but the drugs were making me woozy.

I screamed when he bit down. Not so much at the pain, it did hurt but more from the fact that he actually bit me. Edward had gone through with it. Now I could only hope that he would stop himself in time. I had expected more hesitation from him. His mouth moved against me neck; I tried to hold the rest of my screams inside. My arms were being lifted but I was confused. It couldn't be Edward because the burning was still too intense on my neck.

Another bite on my left wrist then on my right one, I was on fire. My attempts to keep my screams inside failed. I thrashed against the burning. I wasn't stupid, I knew it was supposed to hurt, but not like this. Something must be wrong.

The fire increased, my blood felt like it was boiling. I continued to scream as the rapid pain coursed throughout my body.

**Alice**

I paced the basement. Jasper had left late last night; her pain was too much for him to take. I didn't blame him. The screaming never stopped. She withered on the bed, trying to break free from the restrained. We were aware that once she did wake up she would be free of them as easily as someone flicking their wrist but for now they served their purpose, to keep Bella from hurting herself while she was being transformed.

Edward sat in a chair right by the bed. Sometimes he would reach out and run his hands along her arms, as if he could soothe her. He was a wreck. We had all been on guard when he bit her first time, unsure if he would be able to stop. He did. A look of torture and pleasure were on his face, pleasure at the fact that he had finally taster her blood, but pain at the fact that he had done just that. He caused her to scream, I could not imagine how that would feel, to inflict so much pain on someone you loved. Even if it was what they wanted.

The screaming had started almost immediately. The morphine that Carlisle had given her was no match for the intense burning that she was surely feeling.

"Maybe you can try to convince Edward to take a break, Alice." Emmett said, speaking as if Edward was not able to hear him. I shook my head, he wouldn't leave her side. I knew that without needing to ask and as the thought floated through my mind Edward barked out a harsh "No.". Emmett went back over to Rose's side and told her he was going to check on Jasper, give Esme a break. Esme had left with Jasper last night, so that he wouldn't be alone. I knew he was still absorbing Bella's pain-even with the distance.

"When will it end, she can't take another day of this." Edwards moaned towards Carlisle direction.

"At least another 24 hours. You know that. And she will make it through just fine son."

We all could hear the faint beat of Bella's heart. Nowhere near as strong as it once was. At the moment it was pumping just enough to spread the venom throughout her body.

Edward growled and shoved his hands through his hair.

"I better go wait for Charlie's call." Carlisle said. He raced up the steps and I heard him enter the living room. I had a vision earlier this morning that Charlie would be calling him, to check on Bella.

I turned my attention back to Edward which in turn allowed me to see Bella. Sweat was basically pouring off of her. I was sure that if I were to wring out her body it would be similar to wringing out a towel that had been dropped into the pool. Carlisle and I had stripped her of her clothes this morning. Modesty was not important at this point. We did leave her bra and panties on-at Edward's request.

"She's going to be ok." I whispered to him. He didn't answer me. I heard a familiar ringing and caught Carlisle's side of the conversation.

"She's good Charlie…We started the treatment almost immediately…The flight was fine. She did wonderful. No, it was a private flight… She should be well enough to call you in a few days…No the drugs we gave her are strong and she's not able to sit up right let alone talk on the phone…Ok…I will…Have a good day Charlie."

I heard his steps throughout the house and then him speaking to Esme and Jasper. Emmett's boisterous footsteps could be heard in the room he shared with Rose.

"Shush, that was Carlisle talking to Charlie. "Edward spoke calmly but his face told a different story. "It's almost over love, I'm so sorry that you are in pain. I love you." When he kissed her cheek she let out a scream and then pulled on the restraints. Her small body twisted up, so that her back was arched. Another scream came from her dry lips and then she set her body back down.

We all know that this is the best for her, and she herself chose this but at that moment I felt guilty for causing a sweet girl such pain. I wondered for the first time in my existence if I had done the right thing by following the visions that came to me.

The rest of that second day was the same as the previous night.

I was standing next to Carlisle and Emmett around eleven pm and that was when we noticed Bella's screams becoming less shrill and lesson in frequency. It was a huge difference and Carlisle checked her over.

"It's a good change; she might be done sooner than expected." He said laying a hand on Edwards shoulder. Edward didn't seem convinced and said nothing back to Carlisle, instead keeping his focus on Bella.

The next morning all of us gathered in the basement. I was trying to urge Edward that he should hunt because he would need his strength for when Bella woke up.

"I won't leave her side. What if she wakes up and I'm not here? He argued. I tapped my feet, thinking of a retort, even though I knew it would be useless.

"Son, I know I said the change is good and that may mean this will be over soon but there's no guarantee. In all probability she won't wake up till at least tomorrow." Carlisle said in his best doctor voice.

We continued to argue when a low angry hiss could be heard. I cocked my head to figure out which of my family members had felt threatened, and by what. All of them had their eyes glued to the bed, including Edward. Our tiff was forgotten. Bella was awake.

How could I not see this coming? My visions always had her waking up during daylight hours. I didn't have much time to ponder it because as soon as her eyes popped open she was no longer Bella Swan, human girl. She was now Bella Swan, Newborn vampire.

**Edward**

We were all quiet. Bella twisted herself free from the restraints and crouched down, ready to attack. Her head moved to the right and the left before whipping it and the rest of her body around to face the stairs.

I could hear footsteps and Emmett's thoughts, _maybe if I give Edward a hard time he'll finally go hunt._ If I could hear his steps then surely Bella could too,

"Bella, love…" Her head whipped back to face me; she moved her body in a small circle around me, Alice and Carlisle. Rose was in the corner of the basement. "It's only Emmett, you remember Emmett. He can be a huge pain in the ass but he won't hurt you. None of us will. We love you. I love you." I spoke soothingly but Bella's bright red eyes held doubt.

She watched us all, and when the basement door opened she shot up the stairs. I raced after her, Alice right on my heels. Emmett's face was full of shock and Bella had her arms wrapped around him, hugging him not trying to hurt him.

"Are you okay Bells?" Emmett asked before looking at me.

"I'm wonderful Emmett, besides the need I now have for blood." She looked ashamed but rushed out more words, "I thought you might have some blood for me. That's why I came up here."

Her attention turned to me. "Can I have something, please? It hurts, almost as bad as yesterday. Please. "She was begging me.

I was reading Carlisle's thoughts, he thought it might be safe to take her to woods nearest us, as soon as we were sure that she was able to try and control herself.

"In a little bit Bella. How do you feel otherwise?" I questioned. She moved fluidly, no longer klutzy, closer to me and took my hand.

"I…I'm a little confused, I'm distracted. I keep hearing things that I was never able to hear before Edward. I can hear the tick-tock of the clock in your room. I'm trying to take it all in and focus but the burning in my throat hurts too much." She paused and then started speaking again.

"And I still love you Edward, that's how I feel otherwise." I wanted to grab her and twirl her in my arms but I knew that she was on guard and that may not be the best thing to do. Instead I told her I loved her too and watched her.

She was giving a hug to Alice, then Rose. She was still my beautiful Bella but now she was more toned in places that had once been just soft, muscle had taken over in those areas. I never thought it possible but she was even more beautiful and I imagined us for a moment in the huge bed Alice had ordered. My dick was instantly hard and I turned towards the wall, pretending to think while I willed the hardness away.

Jasper came down the stairs now and after giving me a glare, _come on Edward, after_ _everything else_ _I've had to feel the last couple days, no weeks, you have to add in lust. Fuck sakes. _I muttered a "sorry" to him.

"Bella, do you want to try and hunt?" She jumped into my arms, almost knocking me backwards, and also causing my dick to harden again, she was lined up perfectly. I moved her to the side slightly and she nodded.

"Yes, blood, please."

We were finally together forever. As soon as we were done hunting I planned on exploring her body, for days.

**Well, what did you think? Finally a small look from Edwards POV and Bella is now a vampire, oh the things that they could do now. I have a busy week ahead so chapter 8 won't be up till at Friday, maybe Saturday. Reviews earn you a teaser for chapter 8 and come on, we all know what will happen in chapter 8, who doesn't want a teaser for that? Thank you to everyone who has put me on alert tweeted or added me to their faves. **

**You can find me on twitter here /#!/twistedblueeyes or look at my profile. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer-Stephanie Meyer owns it all. Some characters are OOC. Rated M just in case.**

**Chapter 8**

**Edward**

I shifted Bella again, trying to ignore the throbbing under my jeans. "Go with Alice and she'll get you clothes." I had not forgotten that Bella was only wearing thin scraps of fabric but I knew she was unaware of that fact. She looked thoughtful at my eyes and then looked down at her body, "shit" she muttered. She detangled herself from my arms and was making her way to the top floor of the house before I even registered the fact.

That would take time to get used to. I heard the girls arguing, Alice was trying to get Bella to wear a dress. I smirked. A dress would provide easier access. What the hell was wrong with me, I was acting like I was 17 again, wait I was 17-in human years at least. All this time of denying myself Bella, in all shapes and forms would now come to an end. I had tasted her magnificent blood and now I would be able to taste her. All the thoughts I had previously had about possibly harming her were out the window.

Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett and Jasper looked just as happy as I felt. I silently thanked Carlisle. I knew he couldn't read my thoughts but he was smart, he would get the thanks that my eyes held.

Alice and Bella came back to where the rest of us were waiting and Bella bit her lip. Bella must have worn Alice down because instead of a dress she was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a band concert tee. Muse. I reached for her hand and we took off, not bothering to shut the door behind me. I wanted to ask Bella how she felt, what she was feeling but she raced past me.

I pushed myself to catch up to her. We ran into the heavily wooded forest, she was still ahead of me. I loved seeing her running. It was powerful and sexy. She finally stopped at a small creek and I caught up to her, pulling her into my arms.

"How do you feel love?" I pressed a kiss to her forehead. It was dark out, too dark for a human to see anything but with my eyesight I was able to see her small frame and the way she titled her head as she thought of her answer.

"I feel…amazing, dangerous, powerful but starved. It hurts so much." She said, scrunching up her cute nose.

"It will get better, I promise. Close your eyes and tell me what you smell." She did as I asked.

"Trees, earth, I smell… water? Can I really smell water? And fish, but they don't smell too good." Her eyes popped open and I almost felt lost looking into the red orbs.

"You can, your smelling the minerals in the water, love. What else." I pressed. I had already caught the scent of the deer, now I wanted Bella to catch on as well. Her eyes closed once again and I pulled her just a little bit closer to me.

"Blood! But it's…not quite what I want. It smells dirty." I waited; she had to figure it out on her own.

"Edward, it's not human blood." I nodded and continued to wait again. After a few seconds recognition flashed in her eyes and she was gone. I trailed after her. She stopped about 100 years from the herd and crouched down. Her beautiful face was lifted towards the deer.

"Go Bella." I whispered. We each had a deer a few seconds later. I drained mine, feeling ashamed for thinking that it tasted beyond foul compared to Bella, my Bella. I lifted my head from the deer I had been feeding on to watch Bella. Pure instinct had taken over and she was already on her second. Her muscles twitched and her eyes widened as she drank. She tossed the carcass of the second deer to the side and stood up. Blood dribbled from the corners of her mouth. For some reason my dick thought it was the hottest thing ever. I stalked over to her and bent down.

I kissed her neck, right where I had bitten her a few days before; I caressed the spot with my tongue before moving to her jaw where I left wet kisses on her pale skin. My tongue traced around her lips, licking at the blood. She shuddered and I pressed my hips into hers. My hands traveled over her body, touching her with a fervent need.

Her head was tossed back, she was moving against me in a way that let me know I was not alone in my lustful need. Her small hands pulled at my shirt and I broke from her lips just long enough to pull it over my head, tossing it aside.

She pulled my lips back to hers and I drowned in the taste of her. I don't know how long we kissed; I paid no attention to time. I felt Bella pull back and when I looked at her she bit her bottom lip. Surely she was trying to kill me-metaphorically speaking of course. She pushed me hard in the chest, sending me backwards. I fell back onto a large rock. She smiled and walked to me, before she sank to the ground.

I couldn't swallow; I was too amazed by the sight in front of me. Bella was tugging on the belt, pulling it through the loops and sending it flying through the air. Her fingers flicked the button on my jeans. Her nails left light marks on my thighs as she pulled my jeans down to my knees, quickly followed by my boxers.

Fuck. I was a selfish bastard. I closed my eyes; if she showed any sign of not being comfortable with this I would stop her, for now though I would let her take control.

I opened my eyes just in time to see her soft lips closing in around my dick. Her breath sent shivers through me. After what seemed like forever, her lips wrapped around the head of my cock. I groaned. She moved her tongue under and then over, settling into a rhythm that made me forget about everything else. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I whispered her name. She paused, letting go of me with a small popping sound, I almost whimpered at the fact that her mouth was no longer wrapped around me.

Her head stayed where it was and her tongue ran along the underside of my dick, swirling and licking up and down. I was lost, torn between wanting her to continue and wanting to rip the jeans off her legs and plunge myself into her.

I growled as she brought me closer to the edge. Her brown hair tickled my thigh as her head bobbed up and down. I sucked in a needless breathe just to get myself under control. I was going to come soon and while I loved every minute of this I wanted, no needed, to be inside of Bella. I set my hands on her shoulders and pushed lightly.

The bobbing stopped and she looked up at me quizzically. "Lay down Bella." She splayed her body out in the soft grass and I climbed on top of her, I kissed at her neck and nibbled on her shoulder, cursing the fabric separating us. I moved to her belly and licked around her belly button, pushing her shirt up.

"Edward, I…" I grinned; I was having the same effect on her as she did on me. I cupped one breast in my hand as my other hand toyed with the satin I felt beneath her jeans. Bella moaned my name again and it was all the encouragement I needed. I yanked her jeans off and positioned myself against her. I had never pictured our first time together like this but who was I to argue with the forces that be. I pushed into her, reveling in the feel of her as she gripped onto me. Her muscles clamped along my length and her fingers dug into my shoulders.

"I love you Edward", she whispered. Her voice shot through me and I continued to thrust into her. Welcoming the feel of her.

Her red eyes held my own and I repeated the words back to her before nibbling at her neck and once again tracing the bite mark. We moved throughout the rest of the night, each time Bella came it urged me on and she finally pushed me away after her last orgasm took hold.

"What?" I asked.

"Hello, sunlight." She pointed to the sky and then waved her hand between the two of us. "Plus I'm sure the others are getting worried. You know, my first time being out and all." She bent over and grabbed her jeans, shoving the shredded panties into the pocket. She tugged the jeans on quickly and did the same with her bra and shirt.

I reluctantly followed suit. I was no near being done with Bella, sunlight or no sunlight. She was right though, we did need to get back. I couldn't believe I had let time slip away from me like that, and I was shocked that someone had not ventured out to come see what was taking us so long.

"Do you feel okay Bella?" I smiled at her, and she answered.

"Surprisingly yes, I'm not tired, and my back doesn't hurt considering I was lying on rocks at some point last night." Her smile, made my smile widen. "We could have never done that if I was still human, not like that anyway."

I nodded, still wanting to know what else she was feeling. "How does it feel to be a vampire now?"

"Um, it's weird, everything looks much clearer, I can't believe how much I can hear, and like right now I can hear so much of the forest that I wasn't able to hear before. My throat burns, but not like it did last night…" Bella trailed off and I took her hand.

"That will get better and later we will go hunting again." And have another repeat performance I thought to myself. Jesus what was with me? I was as bad as Emmett. We started towards the house; Bella would stop every now and then to look at something or to listen to something.

The door was flung wide open before we even got to the front of the house. My pixie sister stood there, her hands on her hips.

"I'm really glad you finally got to lose your virginity but were you aware that we were worried. You went out to hunt, not go at it like rabbits. Then you couldn't even manage to go a little bit farther so that poor Jasper would not have to feel so much." Alice stomped her foot and looked at us, like we were 5 and she had just caught us with our hands in the cookie jar

Bella looked down at the ground, if she was able to blush in her new vampire state she surely would be bright red by now.

"Sorry Alice, it just happened, we didn't..." She cut me off with a huff.

"I know, I saw it, Belch no one wants to see their brother doing that shit, regardless if we are actually related or not. And you could have paid a little more attention to Bella." I was shocked that for one she was screaming this to me and two that she had "watched" so much of what happened.

I was even more shocked when Bella spoke up, "It was great uh, Alice. Exactly what I wanted." Her eyes continued to sweep over the ground and Alice stomped off.

I turned Bella and tipped her chin up, making her look me in the eye. "Bella love, I'm sorry. I never thought that was how it would happen but then it started and I wasn't strong enough to stop it and make it more special for you."

"Edward, really I said it was fine, actually it was more than fine. Come one let's get inside." She shook my hand away and walked into the house, where everyone except Alice and Jasper were waiting for us.

"So Bella did you get a bobcat or did Edward start you out with the deer?" He looked at me not her when he asked. His eyebrows were waggling up and down. I resisted the urge to smack him, instead pulling Bella with me onto the couch.

"Uh, I got a deer, two of them actually. " She answered and then covered her ears. I was so used to what she was hearing that it I had learned to them it out. "Is that them…?" she whispered pointing upstairs.

"Yup, little sister. You gotta love vampire hearing." Emmett laughed, Rose joining him.

"Bella, if you don't mind I'd like to ask you some questions, about your transformation and how your doing now." Carlisle smiled at us and waited to see what Bella would say.

"Sure Carlisle." She turned to me and kissed me, harder than I expected and defiantly not like she had ever kissed me before last night, before following Carlisle to his study. Leaving me alone with the Esme, Rose and Emmett.

"I'm so glad that Bella is taking everything in stride." Esme said staring after her. I just nodded, while I was glad I also was waiting for what would happen next, or might happen I should say. Bella had only been awake for less than 24 hours. She still had not been around humans and besides for myself had had very little interaction with anyone else last night.

**I know this chapter is super short but I needed filler. Thanks to those that put me on alert and for the reviews. I love reading them. **

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